Whether we like to admit it or talk about it or not, a good majority of us have been in a bad relationship. It sucks, during the relationship and after the relationship has already ended. And it’s usually pretty embarrassing to look back on. But this article isn’t for those who have come out on the other side and healed. It’s for those who are still currently in this situation.
I’m sure you think this article is just going to be a whole lot of “LEAVE HIM!” and I won’t lie, it will be a little bit. But not completely, so keep reading!
My friends could definitely tell you all about how much they have yelled at me over stupid boys and stupid situations I have been in. They’re probably rolling their eyes right now (LOVE YOU GUYS!!). But, since I have been in these situations, I can avoid them for myself and see them in other people. So, let’s finally get to what I’m trying to say.
If you have to constantly justify your relationship to your friends, it’s time to leave him. You know it, they know it, we all know it. But more specifically, if you say something along the lines of, “I’ll break up with him the next time he does something bad.” GIRL! It’s time to go!
Whether you have had to say this one time, two times, or five times, you’re already in too deep. And I get it. In your brain, you probably have your own reason for doing this, we all did. Whether it’s that you’re trying to build up enough evidence to really prove he’s a bad person, you actually don’t think it’s that bad, or you’re (wait for it) waiting for him to change. It’s not going to happen. No matter what the reason is, it’s not enough.
Sorry to be the mean bearer of bad news, but it truly is not enough. This situation is going to keep going on and on until you stop it. The next time something bad happens, you will justify it in your brain, convince yourself it’s not that bad, and say the same thing again. Because this bucket of bad things you’re filling up to prove he’s a bad person or as your justification to finally leave is simply a void. It’s a void that will keep filling and filling until you finally stop saying, “I’ll break up with him the next time something happens.”
Now while all of this might seem like judgment, I promise it’s not. I’ve been there before, and I know how hard it is. Even when you think you can finally leave, being apart is somehow even harder and you go back again. I get it. But at some point, you do have to choose yourself. What’s happening right now is a never-ending cycle until it’s not anymore, and you’re the only person who can end it.
You’re never alone, and you have people who care about you. Even if they’re mad at you because you won’t shut up about this guy that’s not good for you, they do care about you. Reach out to them, choose yourself, and leave him.
It’ll really hurt, maybe for what feels like an excruciatingly long time. You’ll think it’s going to hurt forever until one day it just doesn’t anymore. End the cycle today so you can start healing tomorrow. I believe in you!
And remember, if he was going to change, he would have done it already.