I know we’ve all heard of this term called “ghosting,” which is ironic because it’s a spooky season. The term “ghosting” means ending a relationship with someone suddenly or without explanation. I feel as if ghosting happens very frequently in college life because of hookup culture. I know that I am, and probably some of you as well are guilty of ghosting someone or being ghosted. I was researching and listening to podcasts about anti-ghosting and thought I’d give some advice on a healthier way to end communication with someone you no longer see fits for you.
- Set Intentions
I know this one can be hard because sometimes. As a girl, I think we like to downplay our feelings and emotions, so we don’t scare anyone away or get ghosted, but the fact is, if you feel like you have to downplay, your feelings then they aren’t the one! An important way to start the anti-ghosting process is to bring your intentions up right away. Many people have future intentions that they already know when talking to someone rather than dating for marriage, hooking up, or more of a short term relationship.
2. When it gets dry, call it quits.
When the conversation goes from “Good Morning beautiful,” to “gm,” you should start to prepare yourself for the cutting ties conversation before the ghosting can even happen. People stop putting in effort when they lose interest, which is understandable, but there should be a brief conversation when you notice that it’s getting dry.
3. It’s not you… it’s me
The good ole saying when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings but need an excuse to cut them off. Honestly, as essential as this is, it’s better than to give the person an explanation rather than to keep them wondering. So guys, let’s check ourselves before, so we don’t have too many exes! Honestly, I tend to lead guys on that I don’t even see a future with for the heck of it, and that’s just not the way we should be.
4. You don’t owe them anything but treat them how you want to be treated
As hard as this sounds, you don’t owe anyone anything, but it’s more about respecting and addressing your feelings and dealing with the problem spot on. Give the person enough respect to know you aren’t interested in pursuing a relationship, so they have closure.
5. Friendship is always an option.
Although friendship is the last thing on your mind when being ghosted or trying to ghost someone, you want to make friendship at least an option. You tend to have some connection with many people you’re communicating with, so if you don’t see the relationship being romantic, then just keep it friendly with a friendship.
I want to tell you guys this anti-ghosting guide that I think will help you out a lot. I got this concept from my favorite podcast called Gals On The Go. It says:
“Hey (insert name), I had a lot of fun (insert the way you’ve been communicating), and it was great getting to know you, but (insert your feelings now). I hope you find what you’re looking for.
I want to share with you guys this anti-ghosting guide that I think will help you out a lot. I got this concept from my favorite podcast called “Gals On The Go“. It says:
Hey (insert name), I had a lot of fun (insert the way you’ve been communicating), and it was great getting to know you, but (insert your feelings now). I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Best regards, (insert your name).
Dating can be complicated, and constantly having to cut people off or getting cut off is discouraging. So with that being said HAVE FUN, talk to whoever, and do whatever, but make sure to communicate your emotions and intentions with others.
Xoxo, Jas