With all of the horrible incidents that have been brought to the media recently (racial profiling, African American men being shot by police officers, racism on college campuses, the election), I’ve decided it’s time for my voice to be heard.
Racism is not okay, but it unfortunately occurs every day, everywhere, in subtle ways and in obvious ways. Most unfortunately, there are increasing incidents of hate episodes and hate crimes since the announcement of our KKK endorsed President-elect. People have been harassed, children bullied, swastikas spray painted…the list is mortifying and endless. Many people are now very fearful of what is to come, myself included. I also fear how things may change for my boyfriend and me. Not because we will change towards one another, but because our outside world will be drastically changing, and we are both going to be affected: he as an African American and myself as a woman.
I digress from the future.
The first thing I am always asked about my interracial relationship is if my parents are okay with it. My initial reaction is to feel slightly insulted. Of course they are okay with it, why wouldn’t they be? But then I remember I am still sadly living in a world where that’s not accepted by all people. Generally the next thing out of someone’s mouth is “Are his parents okay with it?” which is usually followed by a “Well good for you guys!” after I say that they are. I hate being told “good for us.”
People act like my boyfriend and I are on the road to solving racism by dating one another. I will make it very clear: we are not. We are just like any other two people in a relationship, because we just love who we love. Interracial relationships and the support of them may indicate that we as a society are progressing, but we are far from solving racism in our world. And while my boyfriend and I have yet to experience any negative feedback from others about us dating, we know that it is always an unfortunate possibility, especially in the near future.
I noticed that often times, if two people in a relationship have a different skin color, everything about their relationship is cute. People get excited at the thought that one day our children will be “the cutest mixed babies” and that we “don’t see color.” It’s important to know that we do recognize each other’s color, but it just isn’t an obstacle for us. We are constantly aware that other many people see our color though, and that it is an obstacle for them. People like to remind us of each other’s skin color, as if we weren’t already completely aware. While he hears people call me “snow bunny,” I hear people say “oh I didn’t know you were a chocolate lover!” Comments like these can be funny and fun to joke around with at times, but when they come from people you don’t really know as much, they can be a bit uncomfortable. With the recent events in America, I now fear the day they come in a negative way towards us, but I know that it may happen, and people before us have gone through much worse.
Being in an interracial relationship is amazing though, because we are always learning new things. We get to learn about each other’s culture, we can speak honestly and openly about race, and we get to just learn the day to day experiences that come with being in an interracial relationship. We are both ready to take on this change in presidency because we are both strongly affected by it, and we are ready to do it hand-in-hand. I can honestly say that this is the greatest relationship of my life; not because of what’s on our outside, but because of what is on our inside.