Formal recruitment is something a large amount of college girls look forward to – and I was one of them.
Going Greek is a time where girls try to find their home away from home, and an opportunity to make new friends. Girls receive their bids, get to run home and have a blast with their life-long sisters.
This year, I decided to give it a go and go through recruitment. Unfortunately, I did not receive a bid. But before you think, “wow this is totally an article based on bashing sorority girls” I want you to know that it absolutely is NOT one of those articles. This is about not getting a bid…and being okay with it.
My reason for going through recruitment was so that I could build new friendships and get involved more on campus. Greek Life was something that I always thought would be a fun experience, especially because going through recruitment, you gain about 60+ new sisters and who wouldn’t want that?! While going through recruitment, I made sure to keep an open mind and I think that I did a pretty good job at it, but if you know about this process, then you know that it is a mutual selection and you don’t always get what you want.
As the process went on, I fell head over heels for a particular organization. I fell in love with their values, their sisterhood and I fell absolutely in love with their philanthropy, as it was something that touched close to home because my career path tied into what their philanthropy was. I went into their party confident as ever, and left feeling just as confident. But, I was definitely caught off guard when I got the phone call that every girl who is rushing dreads to receive.
I answered the phone because I didn’t recognize the number and when I did, all I heard from the other line was my name and I knew. I was informed that I was being released from the process, and as soon as I got off the phone, I shed a couple of tears.
You see, my life has been on a rollercoaster of emotions, and I felt like I was losing friends rather than gaining them. Rushing was a way for me to make friends, and grow to love and care for others, and vice versa. So when I got that phone call, I cried because I felt like I had tried my best and I was still not liked. I cried because I needed them. I cried because I felt like I was unwanted, or was not seen fit to be a part of these sisterhoods, and I cried because I felt embarrassed about having to tell those around me that I was the girl that did not receive a bid Sunday night.
Once I let all my tears out, I had a deep conversation with my boyfriend in which I concluded that I was okay with not receiving a bid after all. That’s not saying that I wasn’t extremely heartbroken watching people head over to their reveal, and seeing the Snapchat stories or the Instagram posts. But as I scrolled through social media, I felt joy for the friends that I met through this process and the friends that I met outside of this process, and I am so happy that they got to find their home.
Greek Life isn’t meant for everyone, and I think that it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I have friends in Greek Life and I absolutely love them. I have no hard feelings towards anyone involved, as this process was an experience for me. I’ll never know why I didn’t get a bid and maybe that’s a good thing. I may not be their sister, but I am still their friend.
To those who didn’t get a bid, I want you to know that it is absolutely okay! Letters will not define your friendship. Please, please please do not take it personally. Do not go anti-Greek because, after all, you still made connections. Do not shame them, or think that they are terrible because the truth is they aren’t and we don’t know why we weren’t chosen.
This just wasn’t the path that we were meant to be on, and it is fine! Your college experience is what you make of it! My advice to everyone is to get out there and get involved! There are so many more organizations that you can be a part of. You never know, you might consider one of these organizations, your home.
I have so much love and respect for those in Greek Life, and I hope that our friendships continue to grow. It is not about how many friends you have, it is about the type of friendship that you have, and I have been blessed with some pretty great ones.