Collegiettes, I doubt I need to say this, but breakups are hard. We all know how heartbreaking it is when you go through a breakup, no matter how big or small it is.
Going from having that one special person, the person you know you can always vent to, the person who picks you up when you’re down, the person you want nothing more than to share you life with, to suddenly not is absolutely heartbreaking.
It’s all too easy for us to wipe away our tears, pick our heads up, and pretend as if we’re fine all for the sake of appearing strong.
Well guess what, you don’t have to be strong.
Feeling sad? Cry. Feeling angry? Vent. Don’t know what you’re feeing? Take the time to figure it out.
One of the most important steps in getting over a breakup is to actually let yourself feel your feelings.
Too often we are told that “big girls don’t cry,” when on the contrary, crying is one of the most inspiring things you can possibly do. Something about seeing a person who isn’t afraid to let the world know how they’re feeling, who isn’t afraid to strip away those layers and truly be vulnerable is nothing short of incredible.
One important thing to remember, however, is that crying alone will not heal you. In reality, crying is only the first step.
We all know it, and we all hate hearing it, but healing takes time.
What happens when you break a bone? At first you’re in a lot of pain, often excruciating pain. The pain is all you can think about. Nothing, not even 3 pints Ben and Jerry’s ice cream can even come close to taking the edge off. However, at some point the initial shock wears off and you’re left with a dull ache, one that you’ll likely carry around with you for quite some time.
While this ache is still ever present, as the days drag on you’ll start to notice it less and less. Soon, the break only feels like sprain. Then the sprain only feels like a knotted muscle. And one day the remnants of that break, the break that you never thought you’d heal from, is only a distant memory, now replaced by new growth that bears only the faintest scar of devastation.
The bottom line is, embrace what you’re feeling, but don’t try to rush the process. Take the chance to invest in yourself. Explore all the things you’ve previously been afraid to. Read that book, take that trip, and do it all for yourself.
Take the time to learn who you are independently from anyone else. Take the time to not only let yourself heal, but also to encourage yourself to grow.
We’re all different, and that means that while this timeline is universal, the speed at which it progresses is completely unique.