To the girl with the broken heart:
Whether this is your first time or the most recent time, getting your heart broken can turn your entire life upside down. Falling in love and being so vulnerable with that special person can be a hard process for some and to see it all come crashing down before your eyes is a knife in the chest. I got my heart broken for the very first time by someone who I thought was going to be my forever and to put it lightly, it sucked.
I had always dreamt of having a life and growing a family with this person, but it was all smashed to pieces in a few texts. Going through my own personal rebuilding process has not been easy and in no way am I a professional at talking about breakups, but I have definitely learned a few key things about the whole process.
Find your people. Don’t try and hide away and fight the feelings by yourself, call your friends and just cry to them. That guy or girl that broke you is gone, now focus on the people who love you right now. It is so okay to cry, to scream, to yell, and to cry some more, just do it around the people that you know will have your back. They’ll reassure you that this isn’t the end, that there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And in the moment you won’t believe them. In the moment you just want that person. Your friends will tell you that years from now you’ll look back at yourself and think of how relieved you are that you’re not with them, but right now you just want that person.
But please realize, that what you’re friends are telling you, is the truth. You will be okay. There will be other people. Sure those other people might break your heart too, but there will always, ALWAYS, be more.
Let your emotions free. Don’t feel bad for hating them because you once loved them. They hurt you a lot and it is absolutely okay to be pissed off. But honestly don’t seek out revenge. Revenge can be very very tempting in whatever way, but seriously don’t do it. At the end of the day, you aren’t getting revenge for yourself, you’re getting revenge to make that other person feel bad. Don’t stoop to their level.
Cut them out. I know it’s tempting to keep the sweatshirts and the shirts and the stuffed animals and all those gifts that once meant so much, but now they’re just reminders of a time that is over and might not have ended in a great way. Throw it away. Just get rid of it. Unfollow them on all social media and delete their number. The worst thing I have done during my healing process is look through my exes instagram, watch his snapchat story, and even text him in some sort of desperate plea for a connection again. It’s not worth it. If anything, that has all stunted my healing process.
So no matter how bad it hurts to do it, you have to for yourself. And please, for your own mental health, delete the pictures. Delete the pictures from prom. Delete the pictures from that time you went to the fair together. Delete the pictures of you in their arms because that is over and it’s time to start making new memories with new people. Take more pictures with your best friend. Take more pictures with you family and your dog. Hell, take more pictures of you with some hot guy or girl that you met at a party and save it just so you can know that those old memories are replaceable.
I know this won’t fix everything, it really just takes time. But personally, me writing this article is my own way of getting it all out there.
I am reclaiming myself.
I am going to be me in the best ways that I can. Be YOU. You are young and loved and have so much to see and do, don’t let some dumb guy or girl get in your way of living your best and most fulfilled life. They’re the ones missing out, not you. Never ever forget who you are and never ever forget that you are always loved by the people around you, and that love is irreplaceable. So cry your heart out. Listen to your breakup playlists. Burn those pictures and shirts. Go to that party. Buy that dress that they said you shouldn’t. DO YOU!!!! Find love within yourself.