She plopped down onto her comfy, pink chair and thought about everything that had happened to her in the past month. How at one moment, she felt on top of the world to now, feeling at rock bottom. An overwhelming sadness flooded her soul and she didn’t know what to do. Outside, the sun began to set and the light blue sky was soon a velvety blue, littered with sparkling diamonds. The tall buildings with lights wrapped around them looked like strange Christmas trees and the trees, once a lively green, were now a fallen brown.
A month ago, the young girl would’ve marveled at the sight, but she was so overcome with suffering and immeasurable pain that the sight was insignificant as everything was most days to her. She was surprised that she even had the appetite to eat and the energy to wake up each dreadful morning. Too often would she she drag herself to work, putting on a façade so no one knew what truly lay behind her mask.
The shell of her former self.
Each day that passed, the pain grew worse and worse. She never uttered a word or gave anyone a clue to her most truest emotions. She was a tough nut to crack, stubborn as a mule, and would rather die than tell someone about the darkness in her mind. Each moment that passed, she shifted uncomfortably, feeling cramped in her chair. She wanted nothing more than to get up, to leave, but she couldn’t. She was tethered to the discomfort and couldn’t find the strength to break away.
The surge of thoughts in her mind and the unsettling storm in her heart disturbed and overwhelmed her. She had given every fiber of her being to the traducers she had met, only to find that she had nothing left. She had been kind and generous, only to be graced with insensitivity and greed. She was the loneliest and most isolated she had been in her entire life, but she knew that she was the only one to blame.
A few tears fell down her face, and she didn’t bother to wipe them. In the comfort of her room, she didn’t have to fake a smile. She could be as real and natural as she wanted to be, but she still couldn’t let out all the frustration within her. She wanted to scream, she wanted to thrash about, she wanted to cause a ruckus. But, she couldn’t do anything, not while tied to her accursed chair.
Her lips curled upwards at that realization and when she thought about it again, her mouth contorted into a smile and she began to laugh. At first, it was soft and gentle, but then her mouth grew wider and her laughs grew louder. She curled over in pain, her stomach aching from how hard she laughed. No she couldn’t scream, no she couldn’t cry or sob, but at this moment, all she could do was laugh. Laugh at her pain, laugh at her numbness, laugh at how the universe or rather how she had screwed herself over once again. She laughed for hours and by the time she was done, her throat was dry and she was doubled over in pain. The aching and pain never left and the frustration grew worse. Nothing had changed, but at least she laughed.