Heard it Through the GrapeVINE: An A-Z of Vines Perfect for College

For those of you who don’t know what Vine is: (1) I’m sorry, and (2) it was an application where “viners” could create 6 second videos for entertainment. They ranged from skits to social commentary, and they were looped over and over again for viewing pleasure. In 2013, it was made into an app, but Vine met its demise in early 2017 (gone too soon). Vine has been described as this generation’s “inside joke” due to its platform that was destined for virality and rapid consumption.

 

October 19th, according to Urban Dictionary, is heralded as Vine Remembrance Day. By reading this article, you’ll find an A-Z list of the 26 most valuable vines to know as a college student and in turn, it will help us in our time our grief as we mourn this millennial masterpiece.

 

*disclaimer: not all of the vines will start with the corresponding alphabet letter because some vines were categorized based on the most prominent word featured in the video.

 

A.  “A, AA, AAA, AAAA”- (watch here): This vine is perfect for any event throughout the day that makes you want to scream in escalating lengths… whether that be a text from a cute boy in class, spilling coffee on your computer, or the act of studying for midterms.

B.  “I smell like BEEF”- (watch here): This vine is the ideal one to send friends when you’ve maxed out the days you can use dry shampoo as a substitute for a shower.

C.  “OMG Cholesterol”- (watch here): You know that feeling when you’re trying to cut the ramen out of your diet and be more health-conscious, but need a laugh while you’re doing it? Well here ya go!

D.  “DO THE MATH”- (watch here): She goes, “If I order a 20 piece nugget and you give me one sauce… do the MATH”. We’ve all been in a McDonald’s mood and needed to channel this Vine to properly satisfy our craving. Right? No, just me? Gimme that sweet and sour!

E.  “Eczema”- (watch here): Look, college can be tough on the skin. But you gotta admit, it’s pretty funny how the little boy pronounces it!

F.  “Ooooooh F*CK”- (watch here): When you start the year off with good intentions of hitting the gym regularly, but you end up having a workout-related embarrassment that scars you from showing your face ever again.

G.  “GAVIN”- (watch here): My first Minnesota winter featured some very close wipe outs that resembled something like Gavin’s unfortunate face plant.

H.  “Name a boy’s name that starts with H”- (watch here): We’ve all probably experienced something like this when trying to recall names, especially in group projects where certain group members become like ghosts until the deadline.

I.  “I’m about to say it… I don’t care that you broke your elbow”- (watch here): This Vine is SO applicable when you’re sitting near girls that rave on about their ~wicked~ crazy night, guys that can’t help but talk about Saturday’s being “for the boys,” or other pointless convos you overhear when you’re earnestly trying to study in the lib.

J.  “What up, I’m JARED, I’m 19 and I never f*cking learned how to read”- (watch here): Whip this Vine reference out when a teacher asks you a question about required reading that you DEFINITELY did not do.

K.  “Kazoo Kid”- (watch here): Perfect for when you arrive to the first day of class and bond with someone who is just as weird as you.

L.  “I LOVE you bitch, I ain’t never gonna stop loving you... BITCH”- (watch here): Any and every time my roomies and I return from a night out... just want them to know I love ‘em.

M.  “Miss Keisha, MISS KEISHA”- (watch here): For all those times you pull an all-nighter but then still manage to hit snooze enough times to miss your 8am.

N.  “Nickelback”- (watch here): How I feel when I’m taking a science test and one of the figures is just indescribable jargon, so I just look at the picture for way too long.

O.  “Oh hell NoOOoooOOOo”- (watch here): This is just so universal.

P.  “Watch your profanity”- (watch here): The moment when you slip into a more conversational discussion with a friend and a couple of swears slip out juuuuust as the prof walks into the room.

Q.  “Quiet Patricia”- (watch here): Let Patricia represent all of the people in the residence halls who don’t understand the meaning of COURTESY hours. I need my beauty sleep.

R.  “Running goat”- (watch here): For when you’re on your fourth espresso of the day and nobody can control the caffeinated-craziness.

S.  “Step the F up, Kyle”- (watch here): If you’re in a confrontational mood, here’s a perfect Vine… I just hope you’re not the ‘Kyle’ in this sitch.

T.  “Welcome to T-T-T-T-Target!” - (watch here): Target. It’s a college town oasis. I mean, anyone who says they don’t get this excited when the bullseye comes into view is a LIAR.

U.  “Uh YEAH, I sure hope it does”- (watch here): Guarantee you’ll now think about this in your head anytime you see a sign driving to or from school (if you didn’t already); you’re welcome.

V.  “Valentino white bag”- (watch here): Use if and when friends borrow clothes but return it in a horrible condition.

W.  “It is WEDNESDAY, my dudes”- (watch here): For when you reach the midpoint in the week and really just need a reminder both on how calendars work as well as how to get a good little chuckle.

X.  “Xnfjklanfjkla is that real?”- (watch here): This has definitely been me while walking to class and encountering college squirrels. They’re crazy.

Y.  “Your mom’s a hoe”- (watch here): When you’re tired of “class clowns” impeding your learning that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Z.  “Zach stop, you’re gonna get in trouble”- (watch here): Those moments in life when you just want to be yourself, but people can’t handle it.

 

I hope this article helped soothe some of the sadness about the end of Vine and that you use this day of remembrance to fall down a YouTube hall of Vine compilations (I know I will)!

 

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