Dear Guydance,
I’m starting to panic. My friends are all in relationships and getting engaged and I’m busy finding new hiking trails, trying not to die roller blading, and submitting applications to summer jobs. I feel like I’m not caught up to the rest of my friends or even close to their stage of life. Although I’m decently content with my solo outdoorsy self I wouldn’t mind someone joining me in it. I’m concerned that as a junior and soon to be senior I’m running out of time during the part of my life I’ll be most connected and living in the same space of everyone within a 5ish year age range as me. Should I try catching up? Where do I begin?
– Single, not searching, but still panicking
Single, not searching, but still panicking,
DON’T PANIC. What stage of life is it that you’re referring to…the relationship stage?? Pshhh. Be single and keep doing you. Being in college, regardless if you’re a freshman or a senior, is about YOU and developing yourself. Set and achieve goals that will put you in the best position to make great strides in life. You have your entire life to work…and be in a relationship.
Enjoy the best years of your life by doing what you personally enjoy…like summer jobs and roller blading. That is not to say that you can’t be in a relationship, I mean you never know what will happen or who will come along. Do what makes you happy. Don’t try and force it. It seems that you are feeling obligated to have a significant other because of your friends (This is very common by the way…I know from experience.) They miss it when they’re single. Then they want freedom again when they’re in a relationship.
Rushing into a relationship out of obligation to be parallel with your friends sounds like a poor idea. You’ll go through the ole romantic stage and then you’ll want to be right back to your independent self before you know it.
Personally, I refuse to believe that it’s necessary to be in a committed relationship or on the road to marriage by the end of college. You could end up resenting your partner because you chose what would “work” for both of you instead of what’s best for you. I feel like that’s where many divorces stem from, resentment, because of what the other partner feels they are missing in life. That being said, there are plenty of happy couples that remain together during and after college so I suppose it depends on what your plans are in life.
So where do you begin? I say go out and have a kickass remaining college career. You will feel 100x better meeting someone doing what you love in a place that you love then you would having to sacrifice dreams and opportunities to stay close to each other.
Don’t worry. Be happy.
-Austin