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Freshman Year of College As Told By Kimmy Schmidt

If you’ve been living under a rock, or in a bunker underground, for the past week, you may have missed the release of the new Netflix original, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. The storyline revolves around Kimmy, who was kidnapped when she was 15 with 3 other women by a reverend who claimed that the apocalypse was coming and he was going to save them. If you have not yet binge watched all 13 episodes (I’m guilty), it looks like you’re skipping class tomorrow because you’re missing the best show to hit Netflix.

Kimmy’s newfound life is much like the life of a freshman college student. Whether you currently are, or wishing you could go back for a few more years, Kimmy’s experience was much like ours.

Getting to your dorm room and being happy to be out of your parents’ house, no matter how tight the living quarters are

You begin by exploring communal bathrooms

Then you soon realize you have to learn to cook

Your next task is figuring out the shuttle system to and from west campus

You pay your first tuition statement and realize the hole of debt you’re digging yourself into

But it’s okay because at least you can tell your friends about the cute guy who sits in front of you in lecture

Then your roommates ask you to go to the gym

And your first fight with your roommate might go a little something like this:

You start exploring “downtown” Winona

Then you soon find out what “downtown” is, and realize that your fake doesn’t work as well as you thought it would

And you might get catcalled on the way home.

You head back to your room and you see security coming towards you on a Saturday night but you manage to not get caught

You end up stumbling home from a late night out

And you learn how to battle through a hangover

Cheers to three more years!

Miranda is currently a Winona State University senior studying mass communication with an emphasis in advertising and is also pursing a graphic design degree. In addition to being Winona State’s Campus Correspondent, she is also the president of WSU’s Advertising Federation club. When she’s not busy binge watching One Tree Hill for the umpteenth time, you can find her working on her longboards, which she creates from scratch. She is a Diet Coke addict and indie music enthusiast filled with passion and imagination. She plans to get out of chilly Minnesota to find internship opportunities after graduation.
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