Image courtesy http://musingsmoderncourtesan….n
I was about half way through the first semester of my freshman year at Williams before I realized that I was one of the few girls (if not the only one) in my classes to raise my hand and speak on a constant basis. Coming from an all-girl high school, this came as quite a shock. For four years it was never a question if I’d raise my hand or not. I was never shy about speaking up if I had an opinion, question or answer. This openness stuck with me when I initially got to college. But, after a few comments from different classmates about me being the only girl with a voice, I became self-conscious. I began to do just what I had been taught not to do: second-guess myself at every turn. Was I talking too much? Did I sound stupid? Were people judging me?
When I talked to my fellow female students about my feelings, I realized that this was, and is, an endemic problem. I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Many were uncomfortable speaking in class and hearing this led me to ask questions: Why is it that all of these brilliant, interesting women are so reluctant? Why are they shy about using their voices in class? From my own experience, I knew most of the men in my classes didn’t seem to have this problem. What is it then that discourages women from speaking out but does not seem to affect men?
When I least expected it, I got part of the answer. During my second semester, I found myself in a heated debate with one of my male classmates in one of my small seminars. We were arguing about some contentious topic that I can’t even remember now. Before I knew it, two other male classmates started “talking” so loudly over me that I could not make my point heard. I was dumbfounded and entirely put off by this verbal bullying. I was so drowned out by their loud insistence that they were right and I was wrong that I eventually gave up trying to get my point across at all.
After class I received an email from my professor. Her insightful words helped soothe my bruised ego and shed a little light on the events earlier in the day and on the questions I had been grappling with since fall semester. The highlight of the message was this:
“Men just speak louder; it’s not that they’re saying anything more important, coherent, or eloquent than you. Sometimes they think the louder they get the more correct they are!”
The point of this message and reprinting it here is not to say that all men are loud-mouthed, hotheads who don’t know how to have a mature discussion. There are plenty of women I know who fit this description too; they just think it is unseemly to be this way in class. And they are right. So this is an appeal to to all the incredible and talented women I am surrounded by everyday: Speak up! Raise your hand! Let your opinions be known and don’t let anyone, man or woman, drown you out.
You don’t have to act like a bully though; say what you have to say with passion and respect. Speak up and speak often because what you have to say is important and the absence of female voices in academia, and elsewhere, is a detriment to all.