It’s a scooter! It’s a boy! It’s… Scooter Boy! More often known by his mild-mannered alter ego than by his distinctive nickname, first-year student David Han can usually be spotted using a red Razor scooter to get around campus faster than any ordinary pedestrian. He first gained notoriety on Yik Yak, where an anonymous student first gave him his “scooterboy” moniker, and he has a need for speed that can’t be satisfied by just walking to class like a normal person. I caught up with him (and it wasn’t easy, my feet vs. his wheels) to chat about his choice of personal transportation.
EW: Where did you get the idea to ride a scooter around campus?
DH: If I remember correctly, Leonardo da Vinci appeared in my dream and suggested I get a scooter from Amazon. I asked him how he knew what a scooter and Amazon were, but he wouldn’t say. But acknowledging da Vinci’s ingenuity, I got myself a scooter from Amazon. It’s perhaps the best purchase I’ve made thus far.
EW: Why not a bike?
DH: Bikes are just too clunky and difficult to get through the door. Plus, I would have to either ship my bike from California or buy a new one or borrow one from the Purple Bike Coalition, but those options were all too inconvenient and/or expensive. Plus, it means having to memorize another locker combo.
EW: What are the pros and cons of riding a scooter?
DH: The most significant one is that it saves me time getting from Mission to class to track practice to back home. It significantly decreases the ‘activation energy’ – if you will – of going outside, so that’s another plus. Climbing the infamous Mission hill is a chore, but coming down the hill brings joy to my life. I remember someone Yaking something along the lines of “Am I the only one who finds scooterboy annoying?” It hurt my feelings literally 20 seconds and then I got over it. Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate. I shook it off.
EW: Has it had any effect on your life besides getting you to class faster?
DH: When I’m meeting new people they recognize the scooter first, then me. So it’s nice that people remember/recognize me. But I’ve also had spontaneous conversations about the “Bæcycle” (name credit goes to my awesome track captain).
EW: How do you feel about your fame as Scooter Boy?
DH: I don’t really think about it. I always jest that scootering is a lifestyle but it’s really just a way for me to have some fun and be efficient. And if those who don’t necessarily know me are going to judge me because of my riding a metal product arranged in a right angle on two beautiful red rims, then so be it. That’s on them.
EW: Should other Ephs consider getting scooters? Why?
DH: Absolutely. It saves time and time is precious. And for the value you get from scooting, the cost is relatively low. Plus, it’s cool and you want to be cool right?
EW: Any final thoughts on scooter riding?
DH: It taught me that anything is possible. At first I thought the two handles mandated that I use two hands. But handles are just a social construct. I chose to ignore the handles and frequently ride with one hand. Then I realized that the fact that using hands at all is a social construct. So I learned to steer with my hipbone. I didn’t actually think it was possible, but there’s video proof!
David is considering majoring in Political Science and Russian. He is a member of the track team, and his hobbies (besides showing off his sweet ride on campus) include playing the cello, trying different varieties of seltzer water, and posting videos of himself jumping and touching his toes in a midair split to various social media sites. He hopes to pursue a career in diplomacy after graduation.