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When we’re sad or upset, it’s incredibly easy to put our emotions on others. It’s good to talk through our emotions with someone else in order to help sort them out, but when we place the responsibility of our happiness on others, we’re setting ourselves up for disaster. Having someone else be in control of our emotions leaves us powerless and in an even worse situation. Not only does being emotionally self-reliant help us feel more confident about ourselves, but it helps with creating more stable relationships in the future. If you’re struggling with your emotions, here are a few ways to becomes more sure of yourself.

Give When You Feel Needy

When we feel empty, we often look to others to make us feel better because, in all honesty, it’s hard to lift ourselves up on our own. Instead of looking to receive, look to give. Although this seems like extra work, feeling the satisfaction of helping someone else will fill you with pleasant emotions because you were able to brighten someone else’s day, and in turn, brighten your own. This can be as simple as checking up on someone or baking them some cookies.

Create Your Own Source of Happiness

Have an activity or a thought that you know makes you happy so that when you’re feeling down, you have something that you can resort to that will lift your mood. For example, going on a walk to clear your head is something that can be extremely beneficial to your mental health. Something even simpler can just be picturing yourself in your “happy place." It seems pretty cliché and like it won’t work, but it’s important to never underestimate the power of your mind. Similarly, meditating is a great way to clear your mind. It’s difficult to clear your mind the first few times you start but following a YouTube tutorial will help you get on the right path.

Take Responsibility and Believe in Your Own Reassurance

Taking responsibility for your own emotions can be hard. While you know it’s not you that necessarily caused yourself to feel a certain way, only you can control your emotions. It’s more than okay to feel down as a result of something that upsets you, but letting these emotions linger for a long time will inevitably drain you. Taking responsibility and working towards a better mentality by reassuring yourself of your worth will put you on the path to subconsciously being more confident. Telling yourself daily affirmations can seem silly at first, but once you get into the habit of thinking it, they’ll no longer feel like a job anymore, and if you didn’t believe them before, you will now.

None of these tips mean that you shouldn’t confide in a trusted person, rather, it helps avoid putting the responsibility of your feelings fully onto another person. If you’re having a hard time, never be afraid to reach out to someone that can help you sort out your thoughts. But, when you’re ready and want to work things through yourself, these are some tips that can help you.

Tamara Jefak

Wilfrid Laurier '22

Tamara is in her third year at Wilfrid Laurier University and is pursuing a double major in English and Communication Studies. Alongside writing, she enjoys traveling, sparkling water, and dancing in the kitchen while cooking with her roommates.
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