Why I’m Not Afraid to Love Again: A Promise to Myself

In the last months of 2018, I had my heart broken. The breakup devastated me. Despite it only being a fresh relationship, a lot of things happened. Families got involved, friends met each other, things were said — it was a complete whirlwind. I did not expect that the relationship would end, let alone so soon and unexpected. After I was dumped, I truly did not feel like I could ever have “that feeling” again; the one where you actually feel excited to meet with someone, where you’re finding yourself thinking of that person frequently and actually want to trust someone with your heart.

But I am not afraid to love again. 

I am determined to love again.

And I will love again, even more than the last.

I am not afraid to put myself back in the dating game. For me to close myself off would be wrong because I don’t deserve to be hidden. I have had my time to sulk and mourn the loss of the previous relationship — and the one prior to that — and during that time I have decided that this year will be the year which I do what will make me happy, no matter what.

I Will Be Picky with Men

A pretty face and showing interest in you for a week doesn’t mean that they care. I will hold the bar up so high from here on out, that there will be no more tears shed over people who don’t shed any over me. Call me picky, but I will no longer settle for someone just because they are convenient and show minor interest in me. 

I Will Be Realistic 

I know that you can’t get married to someone within a short amount of time — and you can’t force emotions. The biggest mistake I’ve made in previous relationships was expecting the world from those who could give less of a crap to give it to me. I will be realistic and understand that not everyone who comes into my life should have the privilege to be considered for a life partner. Some people are temporary: I won’t expect those who are to be a permanent part of my life.​
I Will Uphold my Personal Values

If there is anything my previous relationships have taught me, it’s that my values are firm. I hold certain religious beliefs, political stances and opinions of things which I don’t approve of and that won’t be changing to accommodate for anyone. I understand that a successful relationship is one that is full of compromise, but there are some fundamental beliefs I won’t be going against just so a boy can like me or not. I am my own person and my beliefs are firm. 

I Will Not Make Excuses for the Next Boyfriend’s Bad Behaviour

I am tired of making excuses for people’s shitty behaviour — and that won’t ever be happening again. Do you know how many times I have made excuses for my ex’s behaviour because I did not want to accept the fact that I was being wronged? If someone engages in bad behaviour, they will be held accountable for it. I won’t be making excuses and sugar-coating facts anymore because that only led me to look like a push-over. Bad behaviour will result in a bad consequence. 

I Will Listen to my Gut

Your intuition is a gift — use it. It’s something that I’ve tended to ignore and has never once proved me wrong. I know that some pills are truly hard to swallow but I won’t lie to myself anymore. If I don’t watch out for myself, then who will? I am my own biggest supporter and I should never allow myself to be with someone who isn’t putting me as a priority. 

So, here’s to those of us who have had their hearts broken but are not afraid to love again.