Growing up, I didn’t necessarily have the best of friends around me. There was a lot of petty drama, and I constantly felt like I needed to change to be accepted by my friends who always seemed to come and go as they pleased, often ditching me when they felt like they had gotten a better offer. I was always the fallback choice and worst-case scenario in almost all of my friendships. Luckily for me, those toxic friendships are out of my life, and I’m now surrounded by the best group of friends I could ever ask for. From late night heart-to-hearts to spontaneous adventures, the bonds formed with our fellow women are truly unparalleled. As we navigate through life, our female friendships often serve as steadfast pillars of support, love and empowerment. I found that over the past year, particularly even more so lately, I’ve been reflecting more on my friendships and some of the invaluable lessons I’ve learned from my female friendships.
Authenticity
One of the most beautiful aspects of friendships is the ability to be entirely yourself without fear of judgment. From sharing our deepest fears to our most embarrassing moments, true friends embrace us with open arms, flaws and all. Something I’ve always said about myself is that I have an obsessive personality. If I like something, I love it, and I’m passionate about everything I love. When I was younger, a lot of my friends made me feel silly for being passionate about the things that I liked, so I eventually stopped sharing pretty much everything about myself with them. Over the years, I’ve discovered that feeling passionate about things isn’t a flaw at all. After one conversation with someone who’s now one of my good friends, she told me, “I love how passionate you feel about things” and it was in that moment that I realized that I was never the problem, and I didn’t need to change myself for people who clearly weren’t my friends. The ability to be authentic and to be truly yourself is one of the best and most important aspects of friendship.
Strength in Vulnerability
Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather a display of immense strength. Opening up to my female friends about my fears, insecurities and struggles has led to deeper connections and a sense of camaraderie. In moments of doubt or fear, I’ve found solace in their embrace, knowing that my struggles are met with empathy and understanding. Honestly, sometimes there’s nothing better than trauma dumping on your friends. Sometimes even trauma dumping on people you just met can also lead to incredible friendships, even though it may lead to some embarrassment afterwards. But there’s truly nothing better than being vulnerable and knowing that your friends will always happily be there to listen.
Celebrating Each Other’s Successes
The joy of celebrating each other’s successes is one of the greatest gifts of female friendship. Whether it’s landing a job or simply conquering a personal goal, my friends have been there to cheer me on every step of the way. They often have more faith in me than I have in myself, so it’s always nice knowing that they’re in my corner and cheering me on. In turn, seeing their achievements honestly makes me more excited for them and prouder than I am for my own accomplishments. I think that my friends deserve the world and there’s nothing I love more than watching them succeed and cheering them on every step of the way.
Setting Boundaries
One thing that I’ve never been great at is saying no to people and setting boundaries. This has led to many of my past friends taking advantage of me in various ways because they know that I struggle with saying no. However, through my new friendships, I’ve discovered that it’s okay to say no and to set those boundaries. Most of the time, I’m indifferent and indecisive; however, I no longer worry about saying no when it really matters. Respecting boundaries is a cornerstone of healthy relationships and I’m so glad that my female friends have reminded me of the importance of setting and honouring them.
Unconditional Love and Support
Above all, my female friendships have taught me the meaning of unconditional love and support. They’ve stood by me through all the ups and downs of life, offering unwavering love, encouragement and guidance. In their unwavering presence, I’ve found a sense of belonging and acceptance that is truly unparalleled. There’s nothing I love more than getting to experience moments of girlhood with them. I feel like it’s helping to heal my inner child who was robbed of some of those experiences with my friends growing up.
As I look back on the journey of friendship, I’m filled with gratitude for the remarkable women who’ve graced my life. In a world that often pits women against each other, our female friendships serve as a beacon of light, love and solidarity. Through the lessons of authenticity, vulnerability, celebration, boundaries and love, my female friends have transformed me in ways I never thought for possible. For that and for them, I’m eternally grateful.