Coming from a girl who is constantly checking her social media, I know how addicting Facebook, Instagram, and all those in-between can be. We are always looking, liking, tweeting, or sharing something. With all these media outlets surrounding us 24/7, it’s hard to balance everything and know the rules and boundaries of it, especially when you’re in a relationship. We all know a couple (or many) that have had an argument over that new friend on Facebook or your boyfriend always liking a certain girl’s selfies. Relationships and social media don’t always work well together and there are certain red flags, things to question, and things you most definitely are over reacting about. So here you go – this is how social media affects your relationship and the red flags to look out for.
SO HOW DOES IT AFFECT THE RELATIONSHIP?
You Can Lose Connection
You’re sitting down for the nice date night you guys have planned when his phone buzzes; he picks it up, so you look to yours as well. Now you’re that couple that old people see and make fun of because you are not connecting on a personal level at all. Put the phone down and focus on what’s in front of you!
Seeing Before Hearing About It
He’s not replying to your texts, yet he can open your Snapchats or like things on Instagram? Yes, you feel like a crazy person, but at the same time you feel like a second thought. Next thing you know you see a snap from someone else’s account that he left to hang with his friends. He doesn’t need to ask your permission for this sh*t, but come on, the least he could do is send you a quick text telling you what’s up. Don’t stew on it; casually and calmly mention it to him for next time.
Becoming a Social Media Detective
Stop creeping! The deeper you dig, the more it will hurt. News flash: before you, other people existed in his life and the last thing you want to see is a picture of his ex from 2014 with the comment “love her” (like ew, barf). But it happened, and it hurts – so now you’ve obviously creeped her and you know her whole life… but why? What benefit has this given you other than making you extremely sad and mad that this girl exists? Seek and you shall find; looking up new friends that he may have added or what he liked may only make you more insecure. Yes, sometimes it’s harmless creeping, but dig at your own risk.
Public vs. Private
What’s too much? Remember not everyone wants to see your mushy, lovey dovey life. Not to mention that one of you maybe won’t want to share that much with the world. Discuss this and decide what’s an appropriate amount for social media to see.
So now you see how it affects you, but what about those red flags buried within the affects; how do we spot them and address them before it’s too late? In my opinion, there are 3 major red flags, so here we go…
1. Inappropriate Activity
Whether it’s a sexy picture, an ex girlfriend, or questionable comments, if your partner is liking things that make you feel uncomfortable, speak up. It may be innocent, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should tell them so you can resolve the issue.
2. Too Private
If your partner won’t post a picture of you together on social media or anywhere, or is afraid to post a relationship status on social media, it’s worth questioning. They may be new to the whole PDA thing but at least you can let them know how you feel and how to post online without being that couple.
3. Always On…
If your date night is always you watching them stare at their phone, shut it down. Let them know that there is nothing personal about them sitting there silently and it’s not the way you want to spend your time together.
Overall, social media can be amazing and it keeps us connected to the world around us, but let’s face it, it can be complicated as f**k. There is a very fine line between friendly, flirty, and shady, and you have to learn how to walk it to be successful. Be open and communicate with your partner as clearly and calmly as possible. Good luck out there collegiettes!