The TikTok trend of “what would send so-and-so into a coma” has reached my articles. But, for good reason. Here are a few things that as a Laurier student I think would send a non-Laurier student into a coma.
St. Patrick’s Day
Since St. Patrick’s Day just happened, I think this one is fair game. If you don’t believe me, look up the videos of Marshall Street in Waterloo this year. You’ll see what I mean. Thousands of people gather in the middle of the day-to-day drink, in the middle of the street, wearing all green and drinking out of borgs. If you don’t get this, you aren’t a Laurier student.
The Starbucks Line in the Concourse
I mean, seriously, could this line be any longer? The shortest wait time you’re ever going to get in the Concourse Starbucks line is at least twenty minutes, and that’s at like 8 A.M. or right before it’s about to close. If you want a coffee in the middle of the day, just forget about it. You’d be better off taking a bus to the uptown Starbucks than going to this one. And don’t even think about going to the one up the road… it’s just as bad.
The Library Elevators
Honestly, the next time I go, I’m looking for the stairs. The seventh floor may be the quiet one, but for the time it takes to get there, I might as well work from my own apartment. I mean, I could walk there faster than this elevator could get up to the seventh floor.
The Phil’s Sunday Line
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just try and go to Phil’s on a Sunday night after 9 P.M. and get in successfully. Good luck! This line usually goes all the way to the lights at the corner and trust me when I say, you want to be at the front of that long line. Throwback nights are the best Phil’s nights!
Ah, Ezra Ave. The one that gets locked down for Homecoming week and St. Patrick’s Day. If you’ve tried to walk or drive down Ezra Avenue during either of these events, turn around. The yellow gates that get drilled into the sidewalk go all the way from the corner of King to Clayfield to avoid street parties from forming during these events. But don’t worry, if you’re looking for a street party during these, just head to Marshall that’s where the street parties happen now.
The Dining Hall Food
If you’re happy with some fruit, salad and a piece of pizza occasionally, great! I mean food is food and if you’re picky, the dining hall has enough food for you to not starve. But compared to some of the other campuses around, Laurier doesn’t provide the best food in the area.
I’m sure there are many more that I missed that would send a non-Laurier student into a coma, but these were the most obvious and the best. If you’re reading this article as a non-Laurier student and don’t understand, it’s okay, I don’t expect you to. The Laurier students reading this, I hope you agree with my choices.