Red flags are a great indicator of whether the person you’re seeing is the right fit for you. Everyone has their own baggage and brings positive and negatives to the table, but it is important to recognize your worth, limitations and boundaries. The beginning of a new relationship is a fun and exciting time, but that excitement can sometimes cloud your judgement. It is important to consider that red flags stand out for a reason, these are just a few that I personally find to be the most alarming.
1. Effort Diminishing
If a guy or girl puts a good amount of effort in at the start of the relationship and then suddenly stops trying once they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend, I think this is telling. It’s not the most unnatural thing in the world, it’s easy to assume that once you’re with someone, that’s it. However, less effort is less attractive and can come across as cold and careless.
2. They think all their exes are crazy
If a guy has an abundance of exes that are all crazy, there’s clearly a common denominator. He’s probably the one that needs therapy more than any of them.
3. You don’t like their best friends
Your best friends certainly don’t define you, but the saying goes “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you find their friends to be obnoxious and disrespectful, it’s not a great sign. These are the people that they surround themselves with. You should feel welcomed and accepted, not grossed out.
4. They keep you a secret
If they aren’t even introducing you to their friends and family, they’re either ashamed of you or them. Relationships can be scary at first, you don’t know how your friends and family will react to that person and there’s a lot of pressure to make a good first impression. However, if they simply won’t integrate you in their lives, are you really even together? Feeling like someone’s secret is embarrassing and can affect your self-worth. Your significant other should be proud to show you off.
5. Overly clingy-ness
In the honeymoon stage of a new relationship, it’s common to want to spend a disgusting amount of time together. However, if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to prioritize them over everything else in your life, they’re expecting too much. You have a life outside of a relationship and compromise is key. Talk to your partner about how much of your time you’re able to give to ensure that no one feels ignored.
Nobody’s perfect and we’re not always aware of bad behaviour. Sometimes, communication and honesty can go a long way. Talk to your partner if you feel uncomfortable with any red flags and recognize when the flags are deal-breakers.