Okay so, it’s not like I don’t believe in love entirely. Some part of me is a hopeless romantic- the part that lives for romantic fictions novels and cheesy Christmas hallmark movies. The other part has her favourite celebrity couples that she always roots for. And then there’s the part that wants all her best friends to find that one person that will love them almost as much as she does.
As you can see, it’s not like I don’t believe in love entirely, it’s just that I don’t believe in it for myself.
I personally don’t believe in finding someone that will love me the way I want to be loved or the way I deserve to be loved. Or maybe I don’t see myself finding someone who is worthy of the love I have to give. And trust me, it may seem as if I have some universal hatred towards men, but seriously I don’t. I just keep my distance to a certain extent and hold onto my beliefs of the major red flags I can’t stand.
~ Not Giving Off the Right Energy ~
If you’re taking the time out of your day, forcing yourself to hold a conversation with a boy who gives you three-word answers every couple of hours, then you need to block him or ghost him immediately. Or run!
You’re not only wasting your time but your energy as well. Deep down you feel like you should get to know them, tell them about your day and talk to them about things you can do together. But the second you realize they couldn’t care less, you slowly start losing the passion to keep putting in that much energy, which in the end affects you mentally. You think there’s something wrong with you when really, you’re not at fault.
The funny thing is the energy and attention you wish they’d give you ends up being given to all his friends when they’re playing video games all night long.
~ Not Being Passionate ~
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty passionate about certain things in my life. School, friendships and hobbies are just a few. I like knowing that I care about things that are important to me, and I show that in different ways whether it’s studying hard for a test, Face Timing my friends at least once a week or finding time to wind down and read one of the books on my “TBR” list.
When a guy isn’t passionate about anything, something about that whole situation screams “red flag” to me. Every individual is different and therefore they have different values, so they care about different things. It shows that you’re unique and have a personality. When you show that you couldn’t care less about things you experience in your daily life, it says something. If you’re not passionate about anything, not even a TV show, how can you be passionate about someone you’re in a relationship with?
~ Having a Bad Relationship with Family ~
I completely understand that everyone is in a different position and sometimes don’t have the chance to have a proper relationship with their family because the situation itself doesn’t allow it.
However, if you’re in a position where your family members, say your mom, dad and little brother try every day to reach out to you, spend time with you and always look out for you, but you don’t feel the need to show that same compassion back to them: red flag.
People in your life- important people- are going out of their way to show that they love you and care for you, yet you don’t try to show them that you appreciate them, not even in your own way?
~ Setting Hopeless Expectations ~
This one is a big one.
I know that no human is perfect. I know that people do try their best to achieve crazy outcomes and goals. But one thing that I can’t come to terms with, is someone who constantly sets expectations and never lives up to them.
Guys saying things like, “I’m trying to be better,” or “I want to be a better person for you,” has no meaning behind it if you see no change that comes after these so-called confessions. How can I take you seriously if I’m constantly being let down by you because you set an impractical expectation?
A guy tells you that he has an entire week of activities planned out, so you can spend your spring break together and then every day of that week he’s nowhere to be seen. He’s let you down yet again. Slowly, you stop caring about all the things they promise you or tell you that they want to do with you because you’re pretty sure in the end you’ll have gotten your hopes up.
Red flags, everyone has them. Even me. Some can be more serious than others and can say a lot about a person. If you’re in a relationship and the other person is giving off vibes that just don’t seem right, I say to trust your gut.