Considering how much information we are constantly bombarded with daily in this age of social media, I figure that these tidbits of advice that I just can’t seem to forget must be too important not to share. From me to you, here’s an (incomplete) list of pieces of advice that have stuck with me and may hold true for you as well.
1. “No.” is a full sentence.
Saying no can be extremely daunting and difficult, especially as a people pleaser. My difficulty with saying no comes from my urge to avoid confrontation and/or conflicts, not wanting to disappoint others and wanting to protect their feelings. Saying no has never seemed synonymous with my desire for approval from others. As a result, I feel as though I must have some extravagant excuse or explanation in order for my decision to say to no be considered valid; otherwise, I have to sacrifice my own comfort and happiness by saying yes. However, during one of my daily TikTok scrolls, I came across a clip of an interview with Elizabeth Olsen in which she shared this piece of advice that I’ve found to hold true; “No.” is a full sentence. You don’t need to explain yourself, justify the decision or apologize for it. You can just say no. It is such a simple, yet incredibly powerful mantra that has put my people-pleasing into perspective.
2. If you have an issue with someone and don’t tell them, it’s a you problem.
This piece of advice that I saw (on Reddit, of all places!) has bettered my communication with others. Whether it be a partner, friend or family member, if someone hurts your feelings, you have two main choices to attempt to deal with the issue: either talk to them about the issue or move on. No bitterness. No resentment. No holding secretive grudges. The issue at hand is either important enough for you to attempt to mend with the person who wronged you or you have to be okay with just letting it go. More often than not, everything between these two choices is just drama.
3. In a year from now, you’ll wish you started today.
As someone who constantly puts off new projects, I find this piece of advice, attributed to author Karen Lamb, to be a motivating and inspiring reminder to get started. Whether it be beginning a passion project or taking it to the next level, hunting for a new job, learning a new skill or picking up another hobby, life is too short to keep deferring the project you’ve been longing to get started on for another day — that ‘someday’ you’re waiting for can be today.
4. It’s okay to be sad about the right decision.
This piece of advice I gained from a conversation with a friend and it has definitely made its mark. Making big, pivotal life decisions — leaving a relationship, weaning out of a friendship, quitting your job and the like — is often met with feelings of sadness. We are often told the right decision will be met with relief, happiness and/or contentment. While this does hold true in some cases, many of us forget that feeling sad about a decision that was anticipated, or even desired, can happen too. Sadness does not have to equate to regret, misjudgment or being wrong. Sometimes, before fully embracing a new, exciting chapter of life, you have to grieve what you once had and what you’re letting go of — this is completely normal. Don’t let feelings of sadness cause you to doubt your gut instincts.
There’s no pressure to take this advice, but nonetheless, I hope these little bits of wisdom help you in some way or another.