One of the reasons why I have steered clear of relationships for most of my life is that I am such an independent person that the thought of someone else influencing my life has never sat right with me. I never liked the idea of having to factor someone else into my decisions, as well as having to worry about someone else on top of all my own issues. For me, the cons have always outweighed the pros. Recently, however, I have found myself not only in a relationship but one where I am able to maintain my independence while benefitting from the pros of relationships.
Maintain Your Friendships
While it may be tempting to spend every minute with your partner, it is important that you maintain your friendships. This not only allows you some space from your partner in order to preserve your independence, but it also ensures that you do not lose any friends along the way. Having separate friends means separate interests, experiences and memories. With this, it is important to remember that you do not have to invite your partner everywhere you go. It is okay to want a girl’s night or a weekend at home with just your family.
Stick to Your Hobbies
One of the best parts of a relationship is sharing your hobbies and interests with your partner. You learn what they do with their spare time, and invite them into your world when you share yours. While you may find common interests, it is okay to keep some of these for yourself. Just because you both like to work out does not mean you always have to go to the gym together. While compromise is important in a relationship, it is okay to hold your ground and say that you enjoy working out on your own or with your friends.
Communicate Because You Want To
One thing that has always frustrated me about relationships is the pressure to be in constant communication with the person. As nice as it is to always have someone to talk to, it can be overwhelming at times. There is no need to share every detail of your day with your partner (unless you want to), and it is entirely okay to keep some things to yourself. If you know you have a busy day or just need some space, let your partner know you will not be on your phone much and take the day for yourself. If you are only communicating because you feel you have to, this will lead to deeper issues down the road.
Overall, how you choose to maintain your independence in a relationship is entirely up to you. If this means setting boundaries between you and your partner or doing regular check-ins to make sure you are not losing yourself, it is important that you have a plan to maintain the balance between your relationship and your independence.