Growing up, you’re used to being able to see your best friends every day. Whether you see them at school, they live down the street or you play on the same team, you run into each other all the time. We only realize how much we rely on these people and our friendships with them after we move away. This is one thing about university and growing up that they don’t warn you about; how difficult it is to leave your friends and how easy it is to get caught up in your own life. There are good and bad things about long-distance friendships and there are things that can be learned from them. No matter how hard it can be, it is worth trying.
As you graduate from high school, you prepare yourself for leaving your friends and family, for new beginnings and meeting new people. What you learn from going to university is that you must work a lot harder to keep the relationships that you had before. No longer do you see your best friends every day, nor do you see them every week. Talking to them and communicating about what you’re doing and keeping them updated with your life now that they are no longer actively in it, is an unanticipated complication. If you’re like me, an introvert who is terrible at answering texts, this can feel hard and lead to guilt and isolation. It’s also hard because you want to have them in your life. Wanting to hang out with your friends or go out with them, but not living in the same city can be hard. Then there are the times when you get a bad grade or go through a breakup girlfriend and you just want your best friend, but it’s just not possible. These things can feel heartbreaking, and you may mourn the relationship you once had with that person, unaware that this is simply a part of growing up. Relationships change and evolve in time with life and sometimes this is hard, but it is worth the effort to stay connected.
While there are many hard things that come with long-distance friendships, there are also things that can be learned, that will make your relationship stronger. Communication, for example, has to be good if you want to keep a strong friendship. One thing that I’ve learned is that you don’t need to talk to or text them every day to still be best friends. Updating each other on your lives every couple of days is perfectly understandable, especially as full-time students. Snapchat has really helped with this because I can send my friends pictures of whatever I’m doing, but they don’t necessarily have to open it right away. Then when they open it, it’s a little summary of everything that I’ve done in the past week. Another way to stay connected is scheduling times to respond or call your friends. We get so busy with our own lives that we neglect the friendships that aren’t in our direct path anymore. By making sure to still show that you care is super important, and scheduling it into your life can help stay on top of it. The most important thing in long-distance relationships is understanding. Understanding that they too are busy and won’t always have time to respond exactly when you want them to. There are weeks that are busier than others and you must accept that you won’t hear from them as frequently. This is normal and doesn’t mean that you matter any less, life just gets busy but what’s important is reconnecting at the end of the day or week. Even just with a quick text reminding them that you care and love them.
Long-distance relationships and friendships are hard but become inevitable as you grow up. While it can be difficult to stay in touch or as close as you once were, it doesn’t mean the relationship is any less important. The feeling of seeing your best friend after months is nothing less than pure joy and you cherish the moment you have with them even more because you know that your time together is precious.