If you find yourself wondering if that cute guy has a crush on you, what do you do? I bet you’ve looked it up online. You clicked on all those articles labelled “Ten Ways to Know if He Likes You” or “15 Subtle Signs He Likes You” or even “5 Ways to Know For Sure if a Guy Loves You!”
Sure, maybe you’ll be validated by that article that told you the small smile he gave you “is a shy guy’s way of saying he likes you!” But maybe the article will be wrong. And if that article didn’t give you the answer you wanted, you kept looking until you found one that told you exactly what you wanted to hear.
This is like the modern version of picking flower petals and reciting “he loves me, he loves me not”. But when the first flower ended in “he loves me not”, you just tried another flower.
On the other hand, if you are looking up reasons why he’s been ignoring you, or why he’s bad at communication or why he makes you feel like shit in any way – you need to stop writing it off. Trust me, if you are turning to the internet to comfort you, there is something wrong. You need to remember that your feelings are valid. So, if something is bothering you, ask him about it because the truth is, the internet may be smart but even the internet can’t read your man’s mind. Every guy is different, so maybe some of the articles will be spot on, or they may know nothing.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Isn’t this so mentally draining?
We convince ourselves of some made-up truth that we provide fake online evidence for. And if the truth turns into a lie, then we get our hearts broken.
Which brings me to my next point. If you have to look up signs to know if you should break up… you should probably break up. Stop writing off his behaviour or your emotions because an article said, “a man pulls away when he’s beginning to fall in love”. Been there, looked that up, and guess what? He was pulling away because he wanted to break up.
When it was me, I refused to look at the real signs. I looked up his behaviour online like they were symptoms for a cold I was trying to cure. As if I could “give him space” or “be cool” and magically he’d like me again.
People are complex, you can’t expect to look up someone’s actions and understand what they are feeling. The best way to know how another person is feeling is through your own gut instinct or asking them yourself.