Like most people, I have had my fair share of tough conversations, especially with my close friends. Whether they have crossed a boundary or hurt my feelings, the conversation is never easy. There are always a lot of different factors that go into having one of these tough conversations. To ease the stress of these conversations, I have figured out some tips that make the process a little easier.
The first thing I do every time I have to have one of these conversations is to stop and think about the situation. Now, this may seem obvious and something everyone does, but that’s not always the case. We often overreact in situations and let out emotions take over. We don’t give our full attention to what may actually be happening. For example, if your best friend lied about something that you knew was a lie, the first thing you might want to do at that moment is called them out for it. Before we overreact due to letting our emotions take over, we should try to understand the situation a little bit better. That friend might have a valid reason for lying to us, and we don’t want to yell at them when they are just trying to do what’s best for us.
Once I take a step back and try to understand the situation, I think about what kind of conversation I might want to have. This is an essential step for me when having these kinds of conversations. Now, there are a million ways I could go about the conversation, but I usually let them lead and guide it. I do this for a few reasons. Even though I think I know what the situation is about, it is only one person’s perspective. Before I start discussing the problem at hand, I want to get an idea of where the other person is coming from. We can’t have a meaningful and helpful conversation if it is one-sided. Once the other person has shared their side of the story and their perspective, I like to let them let me know what they think we should do. After I have heard their side of the story, I start to explain my side of the story and where I am coming from.
Once that is all done, I can move on to the next step. Now, this may be a little controversial, but I ask if I can have some time to think about what was discussed. I do this to fully process what was said and think about how I should move forward from here. I only take about a day to do this because I don’t want the situation to develop any further or delay the healing process.
Overall, everyone is different and has different approaches to how they handle tough conversations. No two conversations are the same, therefore, you can’t handle every conversation the same. These tips I have found it to be helpful in a variety of tough conversations, but I recommend you do what you think is best for your situation.