One of the worst feelings in the world is dealing with a new struggle and feeling like you’re the only one dealing with it and no one else can give you advice or help you. On the opposing side, one of the best feelings is talking the issue through with someone close to you and realizing you’re not the only one. However, sometimes you don’t have someone close you can talk to. You now have to reach out and find people you might not be close to and see if they have felt the same things. Because we’re all human, chances are, someone else has dealt with the same thing and made it out on the other side. That relatable feeling is comforting and allows you to know everything works out. Here are some things I’ve found have been taboo or not talked about enough, so you know you’re not alone.
“I don’t love hookup culture.”
Hookup culture, especially in university and college, is so normalized that it’s almost expected you go through a phase where you’re hooking up with people left and right. And while, if safe, there’s nothing wrong with this, you don’t have to love it or even participate. Sometimes, this can make you feel invalidated, pressured and simply not confident in yourself. This is not only normal but also common. Many girls in university who do participate in hookup culture don’t necessarily want to do it; they feel pressure to fit in and feel normal around all their friends who are doing it. But if that’s not your thing, don’t do it. It’s not worth the worry, trouble and self-image decline.
“I don’t love birth control.”
Birth control is typically the doctor’s go-to advice for anything related to period cramps, safe sex and even acne control. While birth control does assist in these things, it also affects hormones and that can impact your daily life. Birth control can be a miracle pill for some, but it can also not work for others, and that’s completely okay. It’s okay to try different methods, whether that be different contraceptives, natural methods or other ways you feel work best for your body. We aren’t even as educated on birth control during our primitive years, so doing your own outside research to figure out what you want is completely normal.
“I have no idea what I want to do with my life.”
Here is a secret: nobody really does. I’ve spoken to so many people in university, college and postsecondary who either have no idea what they want to do, change their minds a million times before they settle down or decide on a different path altogether. This is part of the fun. If you know exactly what you’re going to do, you miss out on all the things you could’ve done instead. Play around with it and explore different options. There is not one clear-cut path leading you to whichever career you choose.
“I can’t tell who my true friends are.”
This one is a little trickier because, at all stages of life, you’ll deal with people who say they’re your friends but truly see you only as their competition. Are they simply because they have no one else or just aren’t a suitable friend? There will be moments where you feel alone and where you feel like everyone around you leads to more harm than good. My advice is to know what you deserve, know who you want to surround yourself with and that it’s better to be alone than to have bad friends. You should never have to question where you stand in a friendship and going through friendship break-ups is normal and will happen time and time again.
“I’m not doing enough.”
First of all, if you’re thinking that, then you’re probably doing a lot. Especially in university, there’s a notion that you must keep track of your health, school, social life, friends, relationships, clubs, hobbies and everything else that is embedded in becoming an adult. This is hard. Nobody has enough hours, energy or time in a day to give every one of these things your all, all the time. And that’s okay! Make sure you prioritize your rest, well-being and energy to perform as well as you can in your day-to-day activities. At the end of the day, that’s all you can do. You’re doing your best and that’s what really matters.
Having someone to relate to is one of the best feelings to have. There are so many podcasts on navigating your 20s, college life and just relatable issues that help you feel less alone. If you can, talking things out with people who are going through the same things is also a really good tool to ease your worry. We’re all in this life together and we have to start making these unspoken topics more prevalent to allow the normalization of these relatable things.