Everything I Know About Love, first published in 2018, is the memoir of a British journalist, Dolly Alderton. In her book, Alderton shares her story of growing up, transitioning from girlhood to womanhood and the wisdom she learned along the way. Alderton’s experiences with friendships and struggles with romance, as well as the reality of dealing with feelings of emptiness in adulthood, are the major themes in her memoir.
Everything I Know About Love is an important read for every woman in their twenties because the novel is capable of positively changing your perspective on the present. Alderton reminds us not to worry so much about having immediate success because up until her thirties, she wasn’t at the place she wanted to be in life. Most of her twenties were spent partying and living off small wages as a journalist, barely affording apartments while living with roommates in England. Now in her thirties, Alderton has published multiple bestsellers and is more successful than ever. Everything I Know About Love helps us take a breather and understand that it isn’t the end of the world if we’re unhappy with where we are, because we still have the rest of our life to figure things out.
“I am living more truthfully than I’ve ever lived. I may not be the exact portrait of womanhood that my teenage self envisaged…But I feel content; grateful for every morning that I wake up with another day on this earth and another chance to do good and feel good and make others feel good too.”
― Dolly Alderton
Throughout the novel, Alderton’s shift of perspective on life is evident, as she matures and understands that there isn’t a certain point she will reach, where she will be happy for the rest of her life. Many of us forget that once we reach our ambitions, we will likely create more goals, looking for that “happily ever after.” However, Alderton reminds us that this isn’t realistic in the most beautiful way. It’s important for us to learn to appreciate the present more often, instead of always searching for a better life and focusing too much on all the flaws in our current one. Of course, it’s great to continue to pursue your aspirations but expect that there will be challenges along the way and don’t stress too much about what hard work will eventually bring.
Alderton talks about her fair share of struggles with love and loneliness throughout her life. She shares her experience talking to boys and using dating apps, which always ended in disappointment. Once her best friend gets into a relationship, Alderton struggles through increasing loneliness, which is a good representation of the challenges of friendship in our twenties, when suddenly everyone has too many responsibilities. Loneliness is an important challenge of life that most people will likely face at some point, which Alderton authentically shows us in Everything I Know About Love. Again, this won’t be the end of the world because it’s another struggle that makes us stronger and will grow our independence.
In her thirties, Alderton realizes that she had love in her life all along, but not in the way she imagined. Her best friend who stood by her throughout many stages of her life, who knew her better than anyone, was the person who taught her what real love is. Alderton reminds us of the value of our female friendships, the women who stick with us through everything. Don’t be fooled, the sort of long-term friendship Alderton describes isn’t easy to find twice and is extremely valuable. If you have a female friendship like this, please don’t take it for granted girl!
“I hadn’t ever thought that a man could love me in the same way that my friends love me; that I could love a man with the same commitment and care with which I love them. Maybe all this time, I had been in a great marriage without even realizing.”
― Dolly Alderton
Alderton keeps it real, which is why I believe every woman should give Everything I Know About Love a read, so they can understand that there’s no rush in finding your purpose in your twenties and see the beauty in female friendships and womanhood.