Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
/ Unsplash

Dealing with Deleting a Former Friend

As much as I wish it weren’t true, sometimes friendships don’t last for whatever reason. I can think of four major friendships in my life that ended due to some major drama. 

Cutting people from your life can genuinely be the best thing for you. It doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t think that your reason is good enough, because your reason is enough for you. Whether it’s over a boy, a job, or something else, if it’s irreconcilable, don’t try to reconcile it for them. 

But recognize that your other friends don’t have to side with you. If it’s not their drama, it’s not their problem. That can be a tough pill to swallow at times. If you were wronged, it’s hard to see how people could still support the former friend who wronged you. 

If anything, big fights within your friend group are great for discovering who your real friends are. You will see who comes to your support, who gossips, and who defends you when you’re not around. It’s during hardship that people either step up or start running. Take note of who does what. 

It can be shocking, and it can be a real eye-opener too. When I was in high school, there was a big fight between myself and my former friend, and someone that I had issues with in the past was the one to defend me. I still remember that so clearly because it was the best thing that could have come out of that scenario. 

Remember that you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone. There’s this stigma that friends come before all else, be it significant others, school, work, or whatever. But you shouldn’t have to explain why you have your priorities in a different order. 

I had a friend that purposely spread some of my boyfriend’s biggest secrets as gossip after he confided in her. Despite being friends with him a lot longer than I had been with him, this was something that was not cool with me. Some of my peers question my decision, but the morals behind it are ones that I don’t regret. 

Do what is right for you, and don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Turn the other cheek if that’s what you want to do, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself either. Snakes shed their skin sometimes, and in that, you may see a former friend’s true form. There’s no point in hanging around someone who brings you down. 

It is not petty for you to hold a grudge if you have a reason to. You don’t always have to be nice and forgiving if you don’t perceive their actions to be forgivable. If they hurt you, you don’t have to welcome them back. Just keep your head up, be confident, and stay strong. 

In the end, remember that nothing will make them seem more silly than you being the better person. Be classy, don’t try to get them back for whatever they did to you. Make everyone realize that what they did was wrong by showing that you’re in the right. That’s the best statement of all.

Madeline McInnis

Wilfrid Laurier '19

Madeline graduated from the BA+MA program at Wilfrid Laurier University in 2020. In her undergraduate degree, she majored in Film Studies and History with a specialization in film theory. She later completed her Master's of English degree, where she wrote her thesis on the construction of historical memory and realism in war films. If you're looking for a recommendation for a fountain pen or dotted notebook, she should be your first line of contact.
Similar Reads👯‍♀️