It’s once again that time of year – the party of the year is around the corner. While everyone is eager to let loose and celebrate, a certain issue is drowned out by the booze and music. What is that issue? You guessed it – consent!
Consent is Golden
Consent is crucial. You wouldn’t proceed to force someone to drink tea if they already said no, right? The same applies to everything else, especially sex. Also, imagine someone came up to you and kissed you without warning or groped you when you’d least expect it. It’s awkward and uncomfortable just imagining it, which is why consent is important in various situations.
Asking Isn’t a Turn Off
A common argument people make when they’re accused of sexual harassment is that the moment felt right or that asking would have ruined the moment. If you simply ask the person you’re with if you’re allowed to say, kiss them, the situation would only go two ways. You’ll either get rejected or be allowed a smooch. Worst case scenario, they say no and you’ll feel a bit embarrassed, BUT they’ll probably not resent you since you didn’t force yourself onto them. On the other hand, if they say yes, you both will know how you feel about each other, the situation and what you both want. Wouldn’t it feel amazing knowing they feel the same way you about you?
Try it. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself these intimate questions. You probably wouldn’t be able to keep eye contact with even yourself. That’s how hot and heavy consent really is, sis.
Diffusing Tense Situations
More often than not, people tend to look the other way when they witness date rape happening at a party. These situations are daunting, especially because nobody wants to cause a scene in the middle of a party. This is where playing down scary situations becomes more of a psychological game than a confrontation. Instead of approaching the predator and immediately calling them out or trying to fight them, approach them differently.
If you see your friend falling victim to a pervert’s nasty approach, band together with your other friends and pretend it’s the first time you’re seeing the victim in a long time. You want to be loud and excited while completely ignoring the predator. This way you’re not confronting the predator directly but subtly letting them know that your friend is not alone and has back up!
Are the tables turned and you witness your friend acting as the predator? Proceed with caution. As mentioned before, confrontation might not be ideal given the atmosphere of your environment and now, your relationship to the predator. Instead of asking your friend what the fuck they’re doing, you might want to tell the friend you thought they were better than this. Approach this friend to divert their attention from their victim. Confront this friend once you’re in a safe environment. Good friends help each other be better people and by talking about important issues like these, you’re only helping.
Parties are fun to reminisce about when they aren’t associated with horrifying events. You can be the difference between an unfortunate event and a memorable one. So, remember to ask that cutie if you can before you actually do.