When young, naïve, 17-year-old me first starting having sex, as a bigger-than-average girl, I had so many misconceptions about my body, my sex life and how the two go together — and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. Thankfully, after several years of sex, I’ve learned a lot about doing the deed as a chubby girl and I’ve got a wealth of knowledge to pass along to you. And spoiler alert: none of these tips involve losing weight!
I’m a huge advocate for casual sex, but when I first started exploring that route, I was initially terrified. I was convinced that I would meet up with a Tinder fling and be publicly humiliated when he realized that I’m on the bigger side. But guess how many times that happened to me? Zero. As long as you’re straight up on your dating app profile, which means keeping your photos and bio accurate, you most likely won’t find yourself in an awkward situation like I thought I would. If someone on one of those apps is serious about meeting, they like what they see. That being said, if you do meet someone who chooses to not have sex with you based on your body … Boy, bye!
A huge game changer in my sex life was finding the angles that most flatter my body. If I’m feeling particularly self-conscious, I might suggest a position like doggy-style, because it’ll hide my tummy while showing off my bum, which happens to be one of my favourite body parts. On the other hand, don’t let a good steamy session be tainted by you worrying about your tummy rolls, because trust me, your partner isn’t looking at you and thinking, “Wow, fat!”, they’re thinking, “Wow, sexy!”
Along the same lines, if you’re feeling body conscious and it’s stopping you from getting naked and getting freaky, lingerie can go a long way to make you feel more comfortable for a couple of reasons. Firstly, lingerie can help conceal areas like tummies or legs that can be “problem areas.” I love baby-doll style tops that lift my girls and then flow away and hide my stomach. Secondly, wearing lingerie makes me feel like a baddie, which gives me a major confident boost on its own! Finding a piece of lingerie that fits you well can be amazing for your sex life, plus it’s even more sex appeal for your partner to enjoy — and I can almost guarantee they won’t complain either!
Another thing that I got completely wrong at the beginning of my exploration with sex was the idea that I had to settle. I thought that because I was bigger, I had to settle for any sexual partner who would take me, regardless of whether or not I was actually happy with that partner. After several years, and several (dozen) partners, I’ve learned that although I’m chubby, I deserve a partner who will satisfy me. I’m now lucky to be in a relationship with a guy who gives me everything I need and not only that but loves how I look.
Being a chubby girl does not mean you have to settle for a sex life that’s less than what you desire. Chubby girls can have hot sex. Chubby girls can have casual sex. Chubby girls can have threesomes. Chubby girls are allowed to fulfill all of their sexiest desires and fantasies because size does not determine sexiness.