Dating is hard enough as is. Throw in a dash of bisexuality and you’ve basically been thrown into the deep end of the pool. It’s an entirely different ball game.
It’s still fun, just not exactly what you’re expecting. Then again, can you really expect dating to be predictable?
Based on my experience, no.
There’s also the fact that when you start dating and you’re bisexual, you go in with the mindset that it’ll be the same experience regardless of who you date.
Spoiler: It’s not. And that’s a good thing.
Dating girls is the equivalent of dating your best friend. Physical intimacy comes quick with shy blushes and staying up talking about the nature of the universe.
Dating guys involves a lot of doubt and hidden hope. There’s a boundary you don’t always know when to cross, especially if you go into it without a basis of friendship.
When you date a guy, you don’t have to worry about being harassed by strangers on the street who think it’s sinful and wrong. You get to do couple things without any fear of how someone might take it and unwanted attention is easy to get rid of because in this messed up world we live in, guys respect when you’re taken by another guy. For the most part.
When you date a girl, you don’t go out in public as much because even if most people are relatively chill and can recognize that who you date is none of their business, there’s this nagging fear that follows you everywhere you go. So, you spend more time inside, enjoying each other’s company and letting your guard down over a slew of movies you love.
But all of that means nothing if you can’t get passed the first date. You know, the first date where you try to casually pepper into the conversation that hey, you’re bi, surprise!
Usually it goes well and all your worry is for nothing. It’s a relief, truly. You still get nervous every time, however, because what if you’re with one of those people who aren’t going to take it well?
The last first date I went on was with a guy after I’d gotten out of a relationship with a girl. I’m still close friends with my ex and if she’s reading this, you’re wonderful.
Anyways, it was weird going out with a guy after having dated a girl for a while. I was so used to curling up in a pile of blankets and watching whatever was on Netflix. I completely forgot that with a guy, there were entirely different connotations to those acts. Yes, somehow I forgot about the ever so lovely “Netflix and Chill.”
My bad.
We ended up going skating and I realized how much it felt like a competition. I was supposed to be teaching him to skate, but it quickly devolved into lighthearted teasing, in that girl likes guy, guy likes girl way.
It was different from the playful nudges and arguing that came with dating a girl, but it felt just as effortless.
That’s the thing about dating girls and guys, it’s different, but it’s the same.
No matter who you date, you’re putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It’s a beautiful yet volatile thing.
In the end, the real difference between dating guys vs girls is what you make of it.