I’m sure we’re all familiar with the infamous Josh from Love at First Kiss; if you’re not, check it out here and here. My roommates and I cringe-watched these videos for three days straight, and it got us talking about awkward kisses that we have experienced. We came to the conclusion that kissing is an art, and some people are better at it than others. So, I’ve compiled a list of a few awkward lip locks that we have experienced.
1. The Dog’s Tongue
When you kiss someone who uses too much tongue. You know, those people who use their tongue like a dog licking water from their water bowl.
2. The Woodpecker
This is the opposite of “the dog’s tongue”. This type of person uses no tongue, and just keeps pecking. Tip: not sexy.
3. The Pole
True story: a boy kissed my friend, and the only contact he was making with her was his mouth… He stood there like a pole, with his hands by his sides. COME ON NOW.
4. The Talker
Once upon a time, a guy started kissing my friend and paused to tell her that she had the same name as his mom. Stop right now, thank you very much. The only lip action that should be happening during a kiss is lips touching. Whatever you have to say can wait until after the kiss.
5. The Teeth Eater
This name was actually inspired by a girl. She apparently sucked face so hard that it felt like she was trying to eat this guy’s teeth. I’m not sure what’s worse: this, or kissing someone’s teeth.
6. The Moaner
Okay, I’ll admit, no one that I know of has ever kissed a moaner before. This name was inspired by Josh from Bachelor in Paradise. If you’re unfamiliar with this, watch here. A moaner is a no-er.
7. The Washing Machine
When you’re all “oh not enough tongue”, so you start using your tongue, and then they catch on, so they start using their tongue, and suddenly it’s saliva city, and your kiss is like two towels bouncing around in a washing machine.
8. The Bad Aimer
This person just has bad aim. They’ll probably end up kissing your nose or your chin before hitting the bull’s-eye (your lips). If someone wanted their nose licked, they would probably go find a dog.
Those are just a few of the best (worst) awkward kissing stories I’ve heard. Want to share yours? Leave us a comment on Facebook!