Are you a hopeless romantic? Always lost in the excitement of a dramatic kiss in the rain or sweeping declarations of love? But when the movie ends, and you leave that theatre, you are left with a skewed perception of love. Although these movies give us butterflies, they have little relation to real life. So, it’s important to read between the lines.
This leaves us with the question, what is real and fake? What is beyond the script? Let’s explore what our favourite romantic movies leave unsaid.
Individual Growth
Many movies embellish the intense personal work you must do to prepare for a relationship. All of our favourite movies leave us with the idea that once you have found your partner, your problems will suddenly disappear. Well, I’m here to tell you that romance is not magic. To have a good relationship, you must be comfortable with yourself. If you are not, your relationship will begin to reflect it. A strong relationship begins with internal security, and contrary to what movies might lead you to believe, relationships cannot heal you fully. Self-growth and discovery is an individual, unique process, much of which is up to you to navigate.
Mundanity
So, we all know how dramatic and swoon-worthy romance movies can be. I mean, that epic kiss in the rain in The Notebook? Christian’s declaration of love on the stage of the Moulin Rouge proclaiming, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”? I must admit, these scenes gave me butterflies, too, but also led me to an unrealistic fantasy world. Romance movies tend to only show these exciting moments and carefully omit the true, day-to-day realities of being in a relationship. Being in a relationship means handling finances, communication, balancing work and your relationship, and many more nuances. Yes, it can be exhilarating and romantic, but remember that facing challenges in a relationship is normal.
Patience and Time
Romance movies almost always portray a sweeping, fast love. Oftentimes, they highlight love at first sight and an instant connection. In reality, it takes time to foster that sort of intimate connection. Love at first sight is rare, and romance is typically a process of exploration and patience. Some people won’t love who they are seeing for weeks or months, not until they have fully grown to trust a person. In addition, love is not something that many say lightly. No, it is usually said with an intense amount of care and thought, and it can hold much meaning and value. Love is not always instantaneous and easy. It requires energy, time, and commitment from both parties to foster feelings of love and care.
The Happily Ever After
“And they lived happily ever after”. This is the iconic line we hear at the end of many romance movies. Don’t be fooled by this common slogan! In reality, relationships are never static. In fact, they change every day. They are filled with numerous ups and downs, and sometimes, things just do not work out. Don’t hesitate to leave a relationship that is not right for you because you are afraid of shattering society’s illusion of happily ever after. Every relationship, person, and situation is unique, and you are in control of your own happily ever after!
So, when watching your favourite romance films, remember that you are seeing a polished, refined version of love. I have to admit, I love getting swept up in a dramatic romance and getting attached to their perfect endings. Now, something I always have to remind myself of, and you should too, is don’t fall into the trap of unrealistic love! It can truly warp your idea of love and impact your relationships.
A movie might fade away to black once the couple runs off hand in hand into the sunset, but real relationships do not simply dissipate. They are ever-changing and reveal an array of dynamic scenes that continue on and on. Love is not scripted. Love is not clear-cut and static. So, this is your friendly reminder to embrace the messy, beautiful, unique, and unscripted moments of love because these are the moments that make it real.