In an era where consent is mandatory and sexual assault is no longer tolerated, we’ve made incredible strides in the name of feminism. It’s been a long and tiresome emergence from the cocoon of ignorance, and boy, are we close to actually getting it as a society. This is one of my favourite examples of just how close we are.
I saw someone tweet something like “if what Aziz Ansari did was sexual assault then every woman I know has been sexually assaulted” and like yeah, actually.
— Arnesa (@Rrrrnessa) January 15, 2018
Seriously. They just said it. So. Friggen. Close. However, as we continue to dismantle the patriarchy, it seems that we have unintentionally taken down a favourite male leisure activity: flirting.
It seems that men are a little scared by the power women yield. Apparently, the fear is manifesting in their minds to the point where they are incapable of determining normal human interaction from assault. Here’s an example:
In Wake Of Weinstein, Men Wonder If Hugging Women Still OK https://t.co/xUXHhKbxl5 pic.twitter.com/ZBH9HMRGGA
— CBS Los Angeles (@CBSLA) December 4, 2017
The article also quotes a man saying: “The potential problem is you can’t even feel safe saying, ‘Good morning’ anymore.”
Spoiler: grasping at whatever remains of common sense should determine that “Good morning!” is obviously 110% fine. Also, hugs are great—as long as you ask. Although, I can’t remember the last time a hug seemed appropriate in a work environment.
Let me set the record straight: flirting is perfectly okay. Women holding rapists, harassers, etc., accountable does not mean that you can’t bust out your best pick up lines at whatever greasy bar you choose. All I ask is that we throw it back to the first day of kindergarten to discuss the fundamentals of respect:
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Touching people without asking = not okay.
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Making inappropriate comments about body parts = not okay.
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Not taking the hint when it’s time to back off = not okay.
So what is Brad supposed to do if he can’t grab butts at Friday’s frat party? How can he possibly get Tiffany’s attention and impress his buds? Keeping in mind the three rules to a respectful encounter, his options can be as creative as his Polo-capped head can muster.
He can go with the classic “Wow, your eyes are stunning—they remind me of the colour of my dad’s credit card,” or even a simple “Can I grab you a beer from the keg?” If he’s feeling especially daring, might I suggest “Tiffany, want to have sex tonight?” Woah! How forward! Wouldn’t recommend this one personally, but it’s technically okay as long as he respects her answer.
Is it just me, or does this almost seem too simple? It’s as though if you treat people with basic respect, you’re free to socially interact as you please. Saying good morning, hugging and even having sex are included. Now get out there and get some!
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