In the midst of the current chaotic, liberating, compelling, and sometimes downright cruel dating scene, there is a group of people who have never dabbled in such a thing. There are the observers of their peers’ romantic trysts, the hopeless romantics who watch rom-coms and fall asleep dreaming of their happily ever after, only to wake up and feel the immense sadness of not having someone on the pillow next to them. The ones who have had massive FOMO all throughout middle and high school, only to feel the weight of it more as they grow older and wonder the burgeoning question, “will I be alone forever?”.
They are the late bloomers. People who have little to no experience sexually or romanticially, that in my opinion, I think are pretty dope people. I am a late bloomer myself, but I continued to watch romanticized versions of teenage love on shows and movies. For years, I had thought something was wrong with me. How could everyone around me find the love I had been looking for my whole life? After getting it ingrained in my mind since I was a child that my prince charming would be there, waiting for me in my adolescence?
What I had failed to realize was that after pondering those questions up until my sophomore year in college, was that there were so many great things about being single. That being alone in a sense, was more romantic and intimate within itself. I could do things like focus on myself and introspect on what I wanted and needed before loving someone else. It took me a long time to realize this though, my mind was clouded by the judgements of society always enforcing that romantic love is where I’d be most content, that without a person by my side – I don’t contribute much as a person. But those notions were all wrong, I realized that even if I did not have a person or had those experiences, it did not impact my worth or what I contribute to the world. And I think that all late bloomers like myself, need little reminders about how much perks they get by being single.
Time to Yourself
The best one, being able to get to know yourself is one of the most intimate things you can do. You get to experience things while also introspecting on some of your deepest thoughts and feelings. That in itself, is a rarity nowadays. With how fast-paced the world is going, knowing yourself is a gift not everyone has the chance to explore, the best time to do it is NOW!
Learning Vicariously
Sure, late bloomers may have not experienced romantic love, but seeing friends and family learn from their mistakes within their relationships could be incredibly impactful as well. Taking note of what and what not to do in a romantic sense could help you find your footing in the rough waters of the dating pool, something that can be very difficult if you are beginning to navigate those waters.
Different Advantages with Sex & Dating
Speaking of dating, being a late bloomer is beneficial in the sense that you have had the time to observe and decide upon what is in your best interest without going through romantic relationship turmoil. For example, you might’ve had the experience of being ghosted before, but now you know you don’t want a non-communicative and emotionally unavailable partner! This also goes hand in hand with sexual preferances. You can explore what you like sexually, whether alone or with help…if you catch my drift.
Developing Genuine Empathy.
If you were ever outcasted or teased for being the “single one” in the group, you know the tough feelings that come with moments like that. It’s disheartening and it sucks, but a bonus is that you are able to feel for the people who might’ve felt the same way as you in different situations. Having real empathy for others, takes you so far because the world heavily lacks it for others at times. Being able to understand and empathize is a wonderful thing, don’t let such a gift go to waste.
The Value of Patience
Late bloomers know ALL about the art of having patience. After all, we have spent so much time working on ourselves while examining what we want in a relationship, that we are not going to settle down with anyone that does not match that energy. Late bloomers know how to take their time and not rush things, which only makes experiences and connections more meaningful! They know their worth and will not settle for anyone who won’t respect that, so definitely don’t even try to waste a late bloomer’s time.
Being a late bloomer does not need to be gloomy about your singleness, or being sad when you see yet another couple’s one year anniversary post on Insta. Being a late bloomer is a beautiful and rewarding journey; and if you think about it, you’re probably going to live most of your life selflessly, when you factor into things like your future job, your relationships with family and friends, and such. Enjoy this time to yourself being free and completely independent, you won’t have this kind of unique independence forever. And always remember, good things come to those who wait :)