We have all been there at least once (or if not yet you eventually will), we sit around and wonder: How am I supposed to get over a horrible ex? Today I am trying to ease that pain for you, here are some things I did to get over my horrible ex-boyfriend.
Step 1: Cry it out. I know you don’t want to. You want to be the stronger one. You want to keep showing up to work with your head held high. It’s better to do what makes you feel good at the moment, than holding it all in. I am a huge supporter of crying it out.
Step 2: Eat lots of junk food! My favorites included ice cream, raw cookie dough, peanut butter out of the jar. Feel free to take these suggestions. Whatever food makes you feel better start eating lots of it and don’t feel bad about it.
Step 3: Be angry. It’s okay to be mad, just like it’s okay to be sad. I would have never gotten over my ex if my intrusive thoughts didn’t threaten to push him into the a deep fryer after thinking about all he put me through. Disclaimer: No one was pushed into a deep fryer! But to reiterate, feel what you have to feel even if you let your intrusive thoughts get the best of you.
Step 4: Don’t forget about your friends. I know that you probably aren’t feeling very social after a breakup, but spending time with your friends is the best thing you can do. If they truly are your friends they will not care if you are sitting in their passenger seat laughing and crying at the same time. You’ll realize soon after that getting out of your head and spending time with people who love you will be a big part of your healing journey.
Next, repeat steps 1, 2, 3, and 4 in any order until you finally feel like you have had enough. Then go to Step 5.
Step 5: Write a letter to your Ex. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but you aren’t going to send the letter. You want to write it all down, and get those last words to him/her out of your system. It might sound all over the place but here is what I mine would have looked like as an example.
Dear [Ex-Name],
You were the worst boyfriend I ever had, I wanted to love you so much. I wanted to help you. I guess looking back I could only bring happiness and confidence to myself by losing you. I am so mad that I ever let you meet my grandfather, but that’s alright because he sent me someone better. All I ever wanted was to find some stability at that point in my life. Maybe you were a stepping stone in my life, but that does not mean I don’t hate how I let you treat me. I think I did become a better person after you: I wish you the best, or maybe that’s a lie. Maybe I was meant to meet you to become a better me, but that does not compensate the pain you put me through. f*** off.
Sincerely Julia
Yours may look totally different, but make sure you feel all of the emotions and let them out through writing or venting to a friend. Every person heals differently, but I can promise you that some part of my little guide on how to get over a horrible ex, will make you feel a little bit better. I promise it always gets better.