In my experience, the first few weeks of school are when I am my most motivated. It is the time for a clean slate and when I want to start my year off with the best grade I can get. However, there is always the thought in the back of my mind that wonders if I am going to do poorly on my first exams–which can just make up for a rigorous semester of compensation through intense studying. However, college is a place where we also hope to prosper socially, as to allow yourself to have some fun too. This can be as simple as joining a new club or meeting up for coffee with someone from your class, rather than just the idea of going out on the weekends.
Fast forward a month in, and the redundancy of it all starts to become a little depressing. So far this semester I have gone home a decent amount, the homesickness along with other feelings made me crave my childhood bedroom. The college workload is nothing like it is in high school, and you have to juggle other factors as well. So here I am close to half way into the semester and collectively I am tired in multiple aspects. My drive to excel in my academics has dissipated, even turning in homework on time feels laborious. Now here I am writing this article and wondering, “what can I do about this?”
In today’s world I feel as if there is so much societal pressure when it comes to college. I’ve seen and heard from friends and peers an entire spectrum of opinions on college: some drop out, some change majors, some do not wish to pursue college at all, and some love it. Whatever the viewpoint may be, it is important to remember that you are at your own discretion to take your future into your own hands.
Currently, I feel as if one of the reasons why I am going through such a slump is because of my dislike for my major, which is currently chemistry. Although careers in the scientific field interest me, I would say that I am more English/History smart than I am with Science/Math. I was not expecting to go through these feelings but am thankful for them in a surprising way as well. Contrary to what some people believe, I do not feel as if money can buy happiness, or at least it cannot forever. The idea of being in a career for expectedly 40 years or so of my life is hard to grasp as it is, so I couldn’t imagine living every one of those days unhappy. So, for the past few days I have been looking more into the process of changing my major, and hope that doing so can begin to change my attitude towards school.
Another way that I am working to get out of my slump is by studying at places outside of my dorm. For a while I had mostly done my work just in my dorm, but as time went on I would feel less focused on my work and just constantly tired. Eventually I would start staying at coffee shops and put in my headphones, before I knew it two hours would have gone by. At other times, I really enjoy going to the library. Just the practice of getting out of bed and getting some fresh air for a moment has helped.
For our school’s fall break I was fortunate to take some time for retail therapy. It wasn’t much, but getting some new clothes and having a self-care binge on Amazon can mean a lot to a struggling college student. In a time of our lives where we are constantly going through change and discomfort, sometimes the simplest gestures can mean a great deal. Since this is my first year at a university, since I was in community college last year, I had expected some difficulty. But through difficulty, we are able to live and learn; overall I’d say that what I am learning most right now is to choose myself. As someone who is a chronic people-pleaser, there’s always been a struggle for me to be selfish every once and awhile, but I am thankful to be given the chance to start doing so. I am taking this slump as a learning experience but also as an initiative to keep going. Motivation comes and goes, so these feelings are not entirely new to me. My hopes for now are to continue to find ways to stay on top of things by holding onto the idea of accomplishing all that I’ve wanted to in the end.