Thursday, September 7th at 2pm
I am a concert enthusiast. I am also a broke college student. Although this may seem like a conflicting relationship, I believe concerts deserve every penny, dime, quarter, or nickel that I can scrounge up. Concerts are an experience where you share it with other people who love the same music as you. It is a bonding experience, a healing experience, a beautiful experience that I will never regret. That is why I spontaneously bought Cigarettes After Sex concert tickets, last May in a local coffee shop, instead of working on final projects.
In 2021, I had my first anxiety attack. I remember laying in bed, battling the racing thoughts in my own mind. I tried techniques I learned during mental health assemblies in Middle School – “take deep breaths, count to 10, focus on your breathing,” the nurse said. But, to my dismay, nothing worked. Nothing could drive away my anxious feelings. Nothing could control my rapid heart beat. Nothing could center my mind. After a couple nights, I still struggled to control my anxiety. As a member of Gen-Z, I opened my phone and googled “how to combat anxiety?” Many strategies popped up, “journaling, exercising, meditating, breathing exercises.” I didn’t feel compelled to do those activities, so I kept reading and one idea finally struck me: “listen to music”.
According to the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers, music reduces stress in multiple ways. First, music influences biological processes. For example, the tempo of the music can increase or decrease your heart rate, breathing, or blood pressure. Second, music distracts. Music cognition is very complex for the human brain; therefore, it acts as a distraction from internal or external stimuli. Last, music triggers pleasure. Music boosts feel-good chemicals, known as endorphins and dopamine.
I found a random public Spotify playlist titled, “breathe. you’re gonna be okay.” The second song on the playlist read, “Keep on Loving You” by Cigarettes After Sex. As the slow rhythm, soft-voiced music began to play, I felt an immediate sense of peace which I had not felt in a while. My breath and heart beat began to slow down to a normal rate. The soothing voices, the beat of the drum, and the strumming of the guitar released my tension and nerves. From this moment on, Cigarettes After Sex became my coping mechanism. If I ever feel anxious, I open Spotify and play their songs. But tonight – I don’t have to open Spotify because I have the privilege to see them live. Tonight is the night where all of my anxieties will wash away…for 90 minutes.
Friday, September 8th at 10am
Last night. Last night was heavenly. After one train ride and a much needed stop at Wendy’s, my best friends and I arrived at the concert venue. We entered the line, gawking at the unique and eccentric-dressed group of people. It was a cluster of different shades of maroon, black, and white colors. Some were in corsets, cargo pants, thick silver jewelry, and silk dresses. As the line began to move, we all felt a sense of relief as we were standing in 90 degree weather. My mind felt at ease once our tickets were scanned and we were 30 feet away from the curtained-stage. We were tightly packed; no room for any personal bubbles. My shoulder touched the person next to me and our body heat radiated off one another. Yet, nothing could bother me at this moment because in under an hour I would be listening to angels.
At 8:31 pm, the curtains open. The room fills with noise–cheering, crying, and “I love you’s!” A spotlight is casted upon the lead singer, Greg Gonzalez. The drummer sets the beat, the bassist joins in and the voice sings the chorus of Crush. I swayed to the rhythm of the drums, the strumming of the bass made my arm hair shoot up, and my heart sank into my chest. I felt the zen I longed for. I listened to the lyrics of John Wayne, my favorite song of theirs (I can now die happy). It felt as if we all experienced the greatest romantic heartbreak in the world. We screamed the lyrics to Heavenly. I was entranced by the lyrics and music of K., Sunsetz, and Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby.
Greg Gonzalez only said a few words throughout the concert, so before the last song he shared a short and sweet goodbye, “We love y’all so much! This is our last song for the night.” I took a deep breath in because I remembered the videos I watched on TikTok. It was time, time for Apocalypse–the second single from their debut album and their most streamed song. My shoulders dropped, my heart fluttered, and a smile was plastered on my face.
“Got the music in you, baby. Tell me why. Got the music in you, baby. Tell me why…,” sang Gonzalez.
I got the music in me, baby because it has healed my heart.
[Author’s Note: As I wrote this article, I listened to Cigarettes After Sex.]