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You are Everything

Everything, everything you touch is everything.

These words can be found in the chorus of Alina Baraz’s song Tainted. Now, individuals listening to this song can interpret its lyrics in an array of ways, some may even choose to adhere to the song’s true meaning and or intent as the artist envisioned. However, while dancing barefoot in my living room while my little Yorkie watched in terror, the line “Everything, everything you touch is everything” resonated differently with me than it did last week during my morning commute.

It’s funny how songs can change alongside a person who changes, or as events within that person’s life transpires. Songs hold so much power in their pure essence of being, meaning one thing in August and another in September. Yet, this song has never changed for me before — so why now? Why does this line from the chorus resonate stronger with me now in this present moment?

Although the answer may never be apparent, I can only assume that those lyrics mean everything to me now because I am starting to realize that everything I touch is everything. Now, what does that mean?

A professor once said that we are never who we were yesterday. Our cells are forever changing, experiencing life and death all within the containment of our bodies. Even the act of breathing, something that we do so instinctively, changes us. For every place that we go we breathe in the air of that place, the people that are there, and the people that once were. I say all of this to say that nothing in life is simple, staring up into the sky seems simple — just stand in place and look up. Yet, the work and effort that one’s brain puts into looking is beyond miraculous — not to mention the strength that it takes just to stand and remain standing. Everything you touch is everything.

Lately, I have been contemplating taking a huge leap of faith and endeavoring on a project that is so outside of my comfort zone and most notably, challenging and frightening. Have you ever been afraid to step out of your comfort zone? Have you ever been afraid or hesitant to embrace the beloved words of Nike and “Just do it”?

Well, I am.

I am terrified to embark on this new project because I am terrified of failing.

I am afraid that if I take a leap of faith and trust in myself that what I create won’t be enough or it won’t be “everything”. Yet, that’s just it, after a moment of reflection I failed to realize that everything I touch is everything. So many times, I restrain myself because I fear the outcome and because of that, so many times I end up doing nothing when it comes to trying something new.  And when I do that, I paralyze myself and stunt any chance of potential growth.

There are so many factors to consider when wanting to travel down an unknown path. There are so many choices and directions one can take, but the only way of knowing if something is going to be a true success is through trying. The act of trying within itself is successful. The act of trusting in yourself and choosing to look at the positive attributes that can surface because you tried, tremendously outweighs any deficits or shortfalls that may occur. I choose to embrace my new outlook on that one line from Alina Baraz’s Tainted, I choose to view everything I touch as everything. Everything encompasses a diverse collection of outcomes, possibilities, choices, and outlooks. And yes, some things I touch may not turn out as planned, be the best for me, or accomplish what I had in mind or what I wanted but that’s the thing: it’s some and not everything.

Like sun rays that shine through falling water, projecting iridescent rainbows that seem to fall endlessly beyond the eye, one may be just as amazed by the sight of a particular token of the Earth. That token does not resemble that of iridescent rainbows or twinkle like dark, rich, and red rubies, but instead it casts upon the onlooker an interwoven palette of oranges, yellows, honeys, and gold that tends to illuminate even amid darkness. I am named after that token of the Earth, I am fossilized resin, I am Amber. However, contrary to what some may think about me, I am not static nor fixed, especially in a particular place. Instead, I am ever changing and always in search of new opportunities, new connections, new places to go, people to see, ultimately, new life experiences. I was born and raised in Macon, Georgia where I have grown to love the close-knit communities and new communities that have allowed me to expand beyond who I was yesterday. I have a tremendous network of friends, a pretty decent mall at my disposal, and an adorable Yorkshire Terrier by the name of Lukie Skywalker, that has filled my heart and many others. I adore and treasure my mornings which are generally filled with a cup of coffee, family conversations, and the gifts of a new day. Additionally, a general day for me is composed of school work, stomach grabbing laughs with friends, running when I find the time, a pinch of sewing, and a sprinkle of discovering something new, whether that be new knowledge, a new eatery, or simply a new experience unlike something of my own. And now that I have finally gained the courage to construct and compose this biography, I would just like to note that it has no way of entailing every little aspect of who I am or my life experience but it does a fairly nice job as an introduction. Hi, I am Amber Walton.
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