When you move to a new place, be careful around the people that you meet. There’s the acquaintances, classmates you’re nice to, friends, but not quite. Then there are the mean girls, the ones who will say to your face that what you’re doing or wearing sucks. And yet, all of those people are better than the ones who sneak behind your back: fake friends. Fake friends don’t start off like that. You get a year to know each of their personalities, figure out who you relate to, and see them for who they really are, the same way that they can see who you are.
Unfortunately, they become toxic, selfish. They blow you off and make excuses about it, like ditching your group in favor of another! They suddenly become selfish and thoughtless, not really thinking about anybody but themselves. They start gossiping about other people, so much so that you can’t help but wonder if they talk about you. Then they just stop meeting you for lunch, and if you do see them they are busy with others. Sometimes it’s better to cut off the bad so that you can open yourselves to better things and new people.
What is a friend? An exact definition is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection with. Basically, someone who cares for you, and is always there for you. So when you start to realize the people you go out with to the movies, pizza places, restaurants, malls, sleep-overs, where you think to yourself you’ve *finally* found your people, are not…Well, it hurts. Hurts where you feel maybe you shouldn’t leave your room in favor of the dark quiet. You start to feel embarrassed, depressed, anxious, and worst of all: worthless.
This is supposedly not a big deal, certainly not something to write over. Everyone meets fake friends at some point in their life, you just have to suck it up and move on, and hopefully find new friends that will love, support, and appreciate you. The fact that it’s taken you a year and two months doesn’t count of course. So when you’re crying in your room, wondering ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ believing that you’re cursed and you can never make connections with anyone else since this has happened to you time and time again. Just remember that in time, your moment to shine will come again. You are not alone, and if you are, then that should give you the time to self-evaluate and be ready to embrace the light again.