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“We accept the love we think we deserve.”- Perks of Being a Wallflower

You ever find out two people are together and you’re confused and shocked. It’s like “wait, how did that happen and since when?” Or when your close friend is with someone that doesn’t treat them the way you think they should be treated.

You may wonder why people pick and choose to be with others who don’t treat them the best. I think it goes back to self-confidence, value and knowing your worth. Be sure of what you like and want. Settling is not fulfilling. You shouldn’t have to dim your light or worth, to receive love, attention, and care. It is important to realize how much you are capable of, and deserve.

Unfortunately, there can be this shitty cycle of accepting love that is not good for you, because it’s what you can get at the time. I’m all for love and relationships because they are essential to being human. But, that doesn’t mean you accept any love and attention that comes your way. It is important to recognize your worth and value before you give your love, heart, time and attention to others.

As we grow and change, our relationships should follow suit. However, that’s not always the case sometimes we find our friends and loved ones dragging behind. It can be hard to continue forward when others are dragging behind and holding on. This is why communication and knowing your worth is so important.

Typically, we become exposed to lots of different people and relationships which is where we also develop our idea of what we deserve. If people have consistently made you out to not be worthy, lovable etc, we carry that with us. It can affect the love we accept and deserve. Not all love is good, and not all love is the same.

Confidence is something you have to develop within yourself as well as with the help of others. Are your friends supportive? Do they listen and care about your feelings? Do you feel like you get the love, attention and care you personally need? Do they respect your boundaries and space? If you answered no to most or all of these questions, maybe you’re not with the right people. If you have constantly had unsupportive people around, it adds to the cycle of building relationships with shitty people.

It is not simple to leave people behind. Especially if you already feel alone and isolated, but certain people could be making you feel even worse without you even realizing. If you think this person has the potential of being better, start a conversation. People have a tendency to stay quiet about their feelings and say they’re fine when that’s not the case. What’s a relationship if you feel the need to stay quiet about what your feeling?!

I hope we can all continue to cultivate healthy relationships and get treated with respect, love, and dignity. Trying to sustain good mental health and self-confidence is a struggle. It is far from easy when we are told what we should want. I hope this article can be a step towards bettering yourself and your relationships.

doing my work for better days.
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