I’ve always been really good at shutting down when I get stressed. I’ll stay in bed, isolate myself, and fall into decision paralysis. I’ll be dissociated, overwhelmed, angry, anxious. I call this “stuck in a rut”. Like ALL throughout first year and my entire high school career… I just napped. I’m also naturally just a super lazy person and drink like no water at all so that could be part of the problem, but I seriously napped for at least four hours every day, and that’s like after I got a full night’s sleep.
It’s honestly really crazy when you realize you’re stuck in a rut. Like, it happens so subtly and casually, you don’t even notice until you’re already in it. And then it’s like… what do I do? Everything is always the same, you’re back to where you started, nothing is changing, you’re autopiloting through your days. Everything loses meaning, and it’s really hard to understand the point of anything at all. Somehow, sometime, everything turned gray.
I’ve noticed that a lack of presence (mentally and physically) is a huge problem and a surefire way for me to fall into “the rut”. SO, here are a few things I’ve learned and actively try to internalize every day to try and be present:
It’s important to note that focusing on the little things helps create the bigger picture. It’s just important to recognize what aspects belong in which category.
Little thing: Habits create effortlessness. If you get used to doing something, it becomes so routine, it almost comes naturally. This can work both in and against your favour. In order for me to start better habits in the first place, I have to correlate what I’m naturally passionate about with what I otherwise don’t care about
Big picture: Recognize that what’s worthwhile will be tedious and not immediate.
Little thing: Don’t brush over what makes you happy and what you achieve. Celebrate the nice weather. Celebrate that good grade before you move on to study for the next. Literally and metaphorically, stop and smell the roses.
Big picture: Allowing yourself to enjoy the small joys makes a greater impact than it seems. Eventually, these small and what would’ve been trivial things become important and prominent to you. It’ll become easier and almost natural for you to try and find the positive moments. Little things add up, you know?
Little thing: Be generous in the time you give to others. Be generous in the appreciation you give to others. Be generous in the words you give to others. I truly believe that it’s incredibly rewarding and fulfilling to give more than what’s expected of you. Critiquing and judging is a lot easier than appreciating and celebrating, so it’s hard to remember there’s an entire being on the other end of what you say.
Big picture: Understanding others and being understood by others is kind of the whole point, right? These small and delicate interactions and conversations end up creating impactful and beautiful connections.
Little thing: Make decisions, don’t stick in the middle and do nothing. Be opinionated. Develop opinions based on your own research, truly understand them and trust in them. There is truly something sickly wrong with standing still and staying silent. When it comes down to it, you’re defaulted to the wrong when you do this. Whatever sides there are to be taken or choices there are to be made, you take the wrong and choose the wrong one automatically.
Big picture: We often forget that it’s an opportunity to be able to decide between things and that it’s a privilege to have the resources to figure out what choices we need to make (something I REALLY struggle with). It’s the difference between the mindset of “everything happens for a reason” and creating reason for what has happened and what will happen. At the end of the day, failure is inevitable and mistakes will happen.
Creating presence in your life, in general, is a smaller thing compared to the bigger picture. Annie Dillard said “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”