Am I Losing Friends or Growing Up?

I wouldn’t necessarily say I was popular in high school, or even close to it, but I was involved in clubs and had solid social networks I could depend on. Once I graduated and moved on to post-secondary I noticed that I was getting less notifications from social media and generally just talking to less friends in person. Was I losing those relationships I had thought would last my lifetime or being mature with how and who I spend my time with?


(^me justifying staying in on a Friday night, yikesss)


I had my dance friends, my theatre pals, my work crew and my besties (each of which had various group chats and ways of communicating when we weren’t together), so I was constantly socially stimulated. There was very rarely a thought of loneliness or that I was lacking the necessary amount of social communication normal for a teenager (if that even exists). My weekends were packed with dance classes, shifts flipping pizza’s, and late night hangouts with my best friends - I would say for the most part I had the typical high school experience.


(^definitely not me, but what a great show…)


But, after graduation I noticed those close-knit networks started to decrease, and some went extinct altogether. We all had moved on from the activities we participated in in highschool and the majority of us were spread out across Ontario at different universities and colleges. This was weird. As millennial as it may sound, my phone was no longer blowing up with notifications from Snapchat groups of silly selfies, or inside jokes sent to exclusive messenger chats, instead, it was silent.


Of course coming to university I have branched out and made friends, joined clubs and learnt how to have a good time amongst the academic chaos but, I knew something was different. High school graduation and the step towards post-secondary education was a huge life change and it was even stranger to be changing the groups I socialized with.


(^I relate to this on a spiritual level)


I’ve come to realize that a part of maturing is realizing the importance of examples of “good” character amongst friends, rather than solely short term enjoyment. We are all busy humans, and the friends I kept relationships with understand that our interactions don’t need to be in handfuls, but just more meaningful. I value time in a different way than I did in highschool and know how to pick and choose how I spend my extra hours.


If you want to have sleepovers with your best pals or stay in writing colour-coded notes then who cares, do what you want with your time. I try to make myself remember, and accept, that no one is judging me if I say no to something - and if they are then PEACE OUT!


(^me trying to be polite when I want to be alone and someone asks to hang)


Soooo I guess I am like a legit adult now or something, right? I can like manage my time or whatever. Who knows? Not me. But I do know that just because I didn’t stay in touch with every single soul I talked to in high school doesn’t mean that I lost them as friends - it just means I am growing up and learning what is the most beneficial for me and my personal growth. Woah, that sounded kinda mature(ish)...


(^my new email signature, get ready!)


Don’t worry if you only have a few good pals, rather than still keeping up with the entire graduating class - you are becoming a mature adult and understanding what is important - realistic and timeless relationships!


Make sure to tell your family and friends how much they mean to you - that is what an adult would do, right? Give it a go, Warriors!