On October third, he asked me what day it was.
“It’s October third.”
Happy beginning-of-October collegiettes! There’s so much to be hyped for this month: Thanksgiving, fall reading break, midterms (just kidding!), KW’s Oktoberfest, Halloween… The list goes on. However, you may have forgotten that one of the most underrated of these hype-worthy October events is happening THIS WEEK. That’s right, Mean Girls Day is this Wednesday. You already know you’re supposed to eat turkey on Thanksgiving, drink a lot at Oktoberfest, and “dress like a total slut” on Halloween (if you subscribe to the Mean Girls way of life, that is). But how does one properly commemorate the day that Aaron Samuels asked Cady Heron what day it was?? Well, I just so happen to have the answer to that question (or 10 answers – I’m just really passionate about this, ok?).
1. Watch Mean Girls.
In the wise(?) words of Karen Smith, “… duh!”. This is the most obvious way to celebrate Mean Girls Day. Sadly, Mean Girls is not on Canadian Netflix, so you’ll have to break out your old DVD collection, find a shady streaming site, or whatever it is the grool kids are doing to watch movies these days.
2. Wear pink.
It is truly a blessing that the stars aligned in such a way that October Third falls on a Wednesday this year. “Wednesday, October Third” is basically the most Mean Girls day that could ever possibly exist. Wear pink because it’s Wednesday. Wear pink because it’s Mean Girls Day. Celebrate Mean Girls Day because you’re wearing pink. Celebrate Wednesday because it’s Mean Girls Day. Celebrate Wednesday because you’re wearing pink. It all just FITS. SO. WELL.
3. Tell every cute guy you see what day it is.
You never know, it may lead to you eventually telling him his girlfriend is cheating on him and then drinking too much and throwing up on him at a party. So fun!
4. Send you friends some candy grams.
You might have a hard time finding candy canes at this time of year, but you can give your friends some other kinds of candy to show them how much appreciate them, and also to convince them to come over and watch Mean Girls with you.
5. Call your mom and tell her how much you appreciate her for being a “cool mom”.
Moms are great, and it’s always nice to make sure they know that you know it.
6. Join the Mathletes.
Or, you know, some other club that doesn’t involve social suicide or trying to recall your grade 12 calculus knowledge.
7. Push someone in front of a GRT bus.
Just kidding, please don’t do that.
8. Make some mixed drinks. With no alcohol in them.
Unless… “Do you want a little bit? Because if you’re gonna drink, I’d rather you do it in the house.”
9. Call out every Laurier student you see on UW property.
Whether they’re at UW because they “have a lot of feelings” or because they’re just looking for a fresh study spot, make sure you do like Damian and loudly point out that they don’t even go here.
10. Practice abstinence.
In the words of Coach Carr, “Don’t have sex. ‘Cause you will get pregnant. And die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position. Don’t have sex standing up. Just don’t do it.”
No matter how you’re celebrating October Third, have a great one!