Everyone has failed at something and will fail at something. When you’re unsuccessful, the wave of disappointment, shame, and embarrassment overcomes the mind is hard to handle. However, failing is an act that all individuals come across and it’s important to understand that you are never alone. Humans are naturally competitive creatures who tend to always check everyone else’s place due to the fear of potentially being behind. The people who are able to embrace failure and think of it as a positive experience are the ones who grow out of their old selves and become successful easily. Reflect on a time in the past where you failed at something and you thought it would ruin the rest of your life. If you’re reading this article, it means that you didn’t die and although you might not notice it, you’ve become more intelligent, more creative, and very successful.
I realized that fear was the only roadblock of my happiness, creativity, and confidence. I was afraid of people’s judgement, the feeling of disapproval, and trying new things. As a college student, I began being overwhelmed by the high competitive energy across campus. I naturally found myself worrying if I was good enough and trying to match other people’s standards. Once the comprehension of what specifically was making me afraid of failure was understood, that roadblock was demolished, and now I have an open road to work with that comes with occasional bumps but I’m okay with it. I’m still learning, but I know I’m not as afraid as I used to be. Here are a few ways I changed my mentality on failure and how you can too.
Stop Trying to Please Others
I’m guilty of sharing the fact that the opinions of others, and pleasing others, used to be a top priority for me. I stopped having my own thoughts and opinions. Ultimately, it led me to become terrified of expressing myself creatively even though there were so many ideas I wanted to share within me. Part of the reason I cared so much about what people thought of me and my work was due to always focusing on perfectionism. Everyone’s definition of perfection is never the same so trying to do things to please everyone won’t work and it’s a very toxic way of thinking. As a writer, I’ve encountered many instances in the past where I’ll restart my pieces over and over again, fearing that the people who would read my work would judge my opinions and my writing style. Sometimes, what I wrote didn’t even seem like it was written by me because I stopped expressing my originality. Overall, striving for perfectionism is not ideal. The only opinion that should matter to you is your own.
Failure Gives a Better Understanding of Life
While performing ineffectively is frustrating, the experience should be thought of as a moment for self growth, creating a deeper understanding of life, and to learn how to appreciate the good things. Focusing on the negative is easier than being optimistic. Failing clouds the mind with feelings of shame, stupidity, weakness, and unwillingness to try again. Take the failures that come at you and ponder as to why it happened, how it made you feel, and how you can prevent it from happening in the future. Reflecting mindfully allows you to create various game plans for the future to turn situations around where you might feel like something bad will occur.
Taking Risks Brings New Opportunities
When I look back at my life, I notice that I’ve lived most of it in fear. Meeting new people, doing activities alone, and speaking up has always terrified me and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Imagine, though, what might happen if you actually tried the things you know you might fail at. Sometimes I wonder what kind of relationships and events I’ve missed out on if I wouldn’t have been afraid to put myself out there. Taking risks is what opens up new challenges and new beginnings. Even though failure is scary, how will you know if you’ll actually fail until you try?
Self growth is impossible without making a few mistakes. Embracing failure is what leads to success but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to give up. Taking the upsetting moments in life and evaluating the mistakes involved is what makes failing a learning experience. Now, I encourage you to think of one thing that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the courage to do so. This might be posting a selfie on Instagram, raising your hand in class, asking for help on a project, or going to that singing audition. Whatever it might be, it’s not going to ruin your life and if the outcome isn’t what you want, then just keep trying.