Navigating a relationship is difficult enough as it is, adding the college aspect takes it into an entirely new realm of difficulty. As college students, we often get caught up in our own worlds, and our roommates or housemates, our classes, our jobs, the stress of finding internships, and so much more. This often causes issues in our new or old romantic relationships, because we are not communicating properly with our partners.
Now I do have to preface this with the fact that I am not an expert on relationships in any way, shape, or form. I am in my first ever long-term relationship, and it’s with someone I met in college. We have had our difficulties navigating the world of college relationships, especially as the world turned online. We went from being long-distance, to living down the street from each other, but still struggling to match up our schedules to consistently see each other.
The biggest thing we learned from our difficulties was the importance of communication. I had always heard this, but never having been a long-term relationship myself, I did not understand the importance of it. It is extremely important that you communicate to your partner when you are swamped with homework and may not be available to talk much or see each other in person. This helps limit anxiety around what you may be doing instead of seeing your partner, and allows your partner to be aware of your current situation.
My boyfriend and I really struggled with managing our time, and deciding when we would spend time with our own friends versus each other (or in the case of COVID, our housemates or seeing each other). You always hear about people having issues with their friends once they get into a relationship, because they always ditch them for their partner, and I wanted to ensure that that would not happen to me. My boyfriend and I really rely on communicating with each other about what our plans are for the day/night. It all comes down to a simple text, “Hey, I can’t see you tonight, I’m staying in and hanging out with my roommates”. This is such an important text, that I often forget to send, leaving my boyfriend confused and in the dark about what our plans for the day might be, and whether we would see each other or not.
Navigating a relationship in college is extremely difficult, and it is really important to talk to your partner and set boundaries about what your plans are, no matter how busy you may be. It all comes down to communication and ensuring that you are making time to be with your partner, but never leaving your friends behind!