If Sex and the City Took Place in Seattle in 2019

If you are also obsessed with Sex and the City and the entertaining lives of Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes, and Charlotte York, this article's for you. From the designer-clashing charm of 2000’s couture to the unrealistic way that these women get asked on a cute date basically every hour in New York City, this show has got the “zsa zsa zoo,” as Carrie would say.

Although the show has its many critiques, I think it was progressive for its time. Finally, four single women in their thirties  prioritize friendships, dating, cocktail hour, and their  fabulous careers over the traditional norm of marriage and children.

[Read this next part in Carrie’s voice]

As I made plans for the Women’s March tomorrow while watching a rerun of SATC, I began thinking about Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte. If SATC was created in 2019, would the women’s cocktail hour conversation consist of topics like the Women’s March, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the 127 women in Congress,  “leaning in” to male-dominated STEM fields, dating apps, and the “thank u, next” anthem?  

 

I couldn’t help but wonder: In 2019 and in a city like Seattle, with its infinite possibilities, who would Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes, and Charlotte York become?

2019 Seattle Carrie (+ Mr. Big and Stanford) 

Residing in Queen Anne, Carrie has a cute, rent-controlled apartment with a closet filled with thrift couture from Crossroads and Manolos thrifted from the online consignment store, The Real Real. There is a large, inconvenient stack of packages by her door, both from Amazon and from Instagram brands sending her promotional products to rep.

Although technically-challenged in SATC (remember the episode where her laptop got a virus?), 2019 Carrie is an Instagram influencer running a fashion, lifestyle, and dating blog with 50k followers. She’s the queen of #OOTD on Instagram and don’t even get me started about how good her Pinterest is. 'Sex and the City' would be Carrie’s podcast with her loveable co-host, Stanford Blatt.

In 2019, Stanny gets the spotlight he’s always deserved. Each episode would feature love and dating stories from Carrie and Stanford and interviews with their circle of friends.

Her 2019 Mr. Big is a successful start-up entrepreneur whose hot-and-cold relationship behavior is a recurring topic in Carrie’s podcast. In response, Carrie’s loyal fans take to Twitter to make #MenAreTrash jokes about Big. This creates the opposing #TeamBig, a group of girls say they can relate more to the emotionally unavailalable but practical character of Big, not the love-obsessed and delusional Carrie.

In 2019, Carrie doesn’t smoke Marlboros, but she did secretly own a Juul. That is, until a UW student wandering out of Earl’s asked for a pod, to which, Carrie realized how old she was, shamefully tossed her Juul, and never saw it again.

2019 Seattle Samantha

 

Rotating between her chic apartment in Capitol Hill and her current guy’s place, Samantha’s catchphrase is still, “Hello, my name is 'fabulous.'” Samantha’s made millions off her nationwide chain of PR firms, and with that money, Samantha made key investments in online dating companies like Bumble and Tinder. With her own match rates being 99.9% successful, Samantha’s been on a date with almost every attractive guy in Washington. And Oregon. And anywhere else considered PNW. Like Carrie, Sam would also have a large Instagram presence (thanks to her Tammy Hembrow-level thirst trap photos).  

Samantha’s biggest claim to fame is her online magazine featuring social issues and sexual health articles for people of every gender, sexual, racial, and socioeconomic identity. Think https://killerandasweetthang.com. As 2019 Sam says, “If I can be with anyone and everyone I choose, why can’t we all?” 

 

2019 Seattle Miranda:

 

The Instagram account @everyoutfitonsatc features Miranda as the 2019 woman, with the slogan, “We should all be Mirandas.” In Seattle, Miranda makes her money as a Software Engineer IV among tech bros at Amazon. This quarter, she’s taking the lead as the Project Manager of Amazon’s new AI bot that helps technically-challenged, older Amazon customers shop online. Miranda’s inspiration behind this project was Steve’s mom. At home, Miranda insists that her housekeeper, Magda teaches Brady how to code.

In her free time, Miranda can be seen visiting Steve at his famous Greenlake coffee shop that triples as a bookstore and record store, sort of like a Little Oddfellows. As a family, they frequently go to the Fremont Sunday Flea Market. Miranda’s menswear-inspired outfits in SATC were ahead of their time. With her tech money, her personal style is high-end with a few unisex Balenciaga and Off-White pieces, but in typical Miranda fashion, she denies caring about labels.

2019 Seattle Charlotte:

 

Originally an East Coast girl, Charlotte moved to Mercer Island when she landed her dream job at the Seattle Art Museum. Once a week, she teaches a class at Soulcycle in South Lake Union and has become the instructor that all UW sorority girls and Bellevue suburban moms swear by. Aside from cocktails, Charlotte promotes an organic, vegan lifestyle and only buys her groceries from Seattle's farmers markets. 

2019 Charlotte uses her WASP privilege to kindly educate others on political correctness, as featured on @everyoutfitonsatc with the Woke Charlotte meme. 2019 Harry is still bald but he makes it work with an extensive collection of Carhartt beanies. Harry and Charlotte are frequent guests on Carrie’s podcast for some optimism; they’ve been on every classic Washingtonian date, from camping trips in Mount Rainier to dinner in the rotating Space Needle restaurant. “#goals” – Carrie’s podcast.

Woke Charlotte // Credits: @everyoutfitonsatc

When SATC was most popular, it was actually considered progressive, despite some cringey moments that probably couldn't air today. But it's nice to look back from 2019 and see the progress we've made in increasing diversity of all kinds on TV since then. Twenty years has changed the modern TV women's clique from the mostly white Sex and the City cast to the diverse group of women in Orange Is The New Black, and we are constantly improving. Whether it's 2019 or 1999, I think we can all agree on one timeless message the show promotes: if you're lucky enough to have loyal, fun best friends for life like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, hold onto them.