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If Halloween Candy Had Personalities

Ever wondered what your favorite Halloween candies would be like if they were sentient? Probably not. Regardless, I am here to tell you, in my humble opinion, what kinds of personalities some popular Halloween candies might have.

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

Both sweet and salty, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups would be the Jack-of-all-Trades. Because of its dedication and hard-work, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups would be able to achieve anything and everything. This candy embodies determination, independence, and goal-orientation.


2. M&Ms

M&Ms come in a spectrum of vibrant, candy-colored coatings. This Halloween candy would be the expressive, creative type. Head in the clouds, imaginative, and open-minded, M&Ms would be the kind of person to daydream and conceive unique, abstract ideas.  


3. Hershey’s

Hershey’s may look like a mundane, basic block of solid chocolate. However, the fact that it is sturdy and true to its essence makes it alike to a natural-born leader. Authoritative and strong-willed, Hershey’s would be the type to stick to its values and lead a team efficiently and confidently.


4. Kit Kats

How many flavors of Kit Kats are there? You’ve got your classic milk chocolate. You’ve got dark chocolate, white chocolate, and strawberry. Then, there are innovative flavors like cookies and cream, strawberry cheesecake, and matcha. Kit Kats would be the type of person to be highly knowledgeable in several areas because it is always ready to take on something new. Flexible and fluid, it would have little attachment to tradition and be open to change.


5. Three Musketeers

It’s in the name. “All for one and one for all!” Three Musketeers would be the altruistic type, striving to do good in the world. It would be a great team-player, reliable and considerate of all its teammates. After all, the story isn’t about one musketeer, but three!


6. Starburst

Sweet and soft, Starbursts would embody sociability and passion. It would be free-spirited, friendly types. If Starbursts had a personality, it would be energetic and blooming with amiability. You know that friend who radiates sunshine and never seems to stop smiling? That’s a Starburst.


7. Haribo Gummy Bears

Haribo Gummy Bears would be the resilient optimist. Its faith in humanity will always bounce back like gelatin, even when things get tough. Always looking to bring harmony into the world, a gummy bear would have confidence in the good of humanity. Haribo Gummy Bears would be the idealistic type, valuing every experience and seeing a silver lining in everything.


8. Smarties

A standard, classic candy that high school teachers tape to their pants on Halloween because they’re dressed as “smarty-pants.” Smarties would be the level-headed and rational type. Calm and practical, this candy would be down-to-earth, direct, and responsible. Smarties would follow life by the book. This candy is traditional and ruled by unspoken laws.


9. Twix

You can’t go wrong with a chocolate and caramel-covered biscuit. Twix would be loyal to you (as if it hasn’t been already, I mean, when was the last time you were disappointed by a Twix bar?) Twix would be the protector, the mama bear friend who cares for its loved ones.


10. Snickers

“You’re not you when you’re hungry.” What happens when you’re hungry? You take a bite from a Snickers bar. Snickers would be the person you look to during a crisis. Optimistic and practical, Snickers would conjure up a rational solution to the problem by prioritizing and evaluating the situation efficiently.


11. Sour Patch Kids

Sour and sweet, Sour Patch Kids are a top tier candy (and an A+ movie snack.) This candy would be adventurous. A risk taker, Sour Patch Kids would abide by its passions, living every day to its fullest and viewing the world in a vibrant and exciting way. Sour Patch Kids would be unpredictable and spontaneous.


12. Milky Way

(Especially Milk Way Midnights.) Milky Ways are bold and direct. Milky Ways would be the factual and defiant type. Headstrong and straight-forward, Milky Ways would be that teammate who dislikes wasting time beating around the bush and prefers gets down to business and straight to the point.


13. Skittles

Sweet, bright, and rainbow-colored, Skittles would be the showman. A social butterfly, Skittles would have impeccable people-skills, able to communicate and connect with anyone and everyone. Skittles would be the light of the party, a firecracker that gets the party started.

Emily Tang

Washington '23

Emily is a first-year English major at the University of Washington in Seattle. She is a writer on the Her Campus Writing Team at UW and a self-proclaimed caffeine enthusiast.
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