After almost two years in college, I can say with confidence that I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing. On paper, it might seem that I have my life together – I work two jobs, participate in extracurriculars, take care of my body, have a social life, and maintain a solid GPA. My brief profile at the header of my resume even suggests that I have a certain professional objective (spoiler: I really don’t). Yet, it looks like my quarter-life crisis came a little earlier than expected.
There is so much pressure at this age – and especially here at the University of Washington, the No. 6 Best Global University – to have our life plan completely figured out. Or to have created a linear step-by-step outline to achieve a specific end goal that will somehow mean success or happiness or self-fulfillment. But what if we don’t have an explicit goal in mind? A dream career? Surrounded by other highly-motivated students, it can be challenging to remind ourselves that we are all on our own journey, and that success looks different for each individual. We end up subconsciously – or consciously – comparing ourselves to our peers and therefore feel inadequate. There seems to be this overwhelming dread regarding what’s next, or stepping into the unknown. I am no stranger to this feeling, and it is indeed challenging to work through accepting that I cannot foresee the future.
After almost two years in college, I can also say with confidence that no one else knows what they are doing either. On social media, we manage to make it appear that our plans are going exactly as desired – the perfect study abroad trip, or weekend getaways with the ideal friend group. No one will post the mental breakdown before that picture was taken. Personally, my Instagram account is most definitely a highlight reel of my best moments – it gives the impression that I am constantly out and about with my friends, or never without a smile on my face. What people don’t see, however, are the weekends of FOMO, crying on the clock at work, stress breakouts, or just feeling insufficient. Both scenarios are my realities, I just choose to showcase the more favorable moments.
With that being said, it’s easy to see the wins of other people and their “put-together” life and believe that we are behind the curve. There is an immense pressure to realize our target destination in the game of life. It can be frightening to not have an end ambition and to just be existing on your own journey. In these moments of self-doubt, I always think of my mom. She currently is the Career Technical Coordinator for a local high school from my hometown. This fancy title means that she helps her students figure out post-high school plans that do not require a Bachelor’s degree. She even started her own podcast, TalkShop.Podcast, in 2020 to interview professionals with respect to their nonlinear, unpredictable road to their current position. I find it inspiring to hear how other fully-grown adults also were lost at this age and how they came to find a vocation that excites them.
Regardless of her role now, my mom graduated with a degree in Business Administration, managed 401k plans, worked for the San Francisco Giants, was a professional organizer, and now has her real estate license. My mom has never settled for one career or field, and she models that neither should I. At nineteen years-old, I will not have everything figured out, especially not for the career of forty or fifty year-old Maggie.
I don’t know what I’m doing. And it’s okay if you don’t either. I am studying Public Health – Global Health and double minoring in Data Science and Nutrition, with the full intention of opening a coffee shop in a foreign country. This very tentative plan could change tomorrow. Your degree does not have to be the defining factor of your life.
So here’s your mid-school year reminder to relax. No one’s life plan goes exactly as follows, no matter how it might appear to you. Comparison is the theft of joy. You cannot compare the cover of Jane Eyre to the entire story of I Know Why the Caged Birds Sing. Your perception of someone else’s life is merely that – a convincing illusion. You are doing awesome. Keep going – you will end up just fine.