The suitcases that I hastily packed to bring home nearly two months ago the day after learning that classes were to be online sit almost untouched, because I’ve only really worn different variations of the same outfit every day. My makeup bag sits unbothered on my dresser, thankful that I haven’t pushed the limits of its capacity with the products that currently sit in my online shopping carts instead. After the mandated foreclosure of hundreds of non-essential businesses in my home state, salons and clothing stores have receded into the background of the economic tapestry as well. The underwhelming result is that like most of the country, I haven’t felt or looked like myself in weeks. Admittedly, physical appearance is far from the top of the list of pressing issues amidst a global pandemic, but it’s been revealing of the culture of instant gratification plaguing young America—because I don’t care that I don’t look my best, and it’s concerning.
How much of my life do I live so that the people around me will like me? How much of my existence is genuine to the person that I am instead of striving to fit a fleeting image? No one besides my parents, who have already seen me at my worst, is going to catch a glimpse of me, so I feel no need to put effort into the way that I look anymore.
Instant gratification is everywhere, and it has become far less of a want and more of a need over the course of the past few generations, primarily because it is so easily accessible. The problem is that accessibility doesn’t translate to achievability, and the difference is far more drastic than we think it to be. If we aren’t careful, we will delude ourselves into thinking that looking like the best version of ourselves all the time is the one way to be deserving of basic human needs like love and kindness.
It took a global pandemic for me to realize that I live so much of my life in hopes of receiving validation that sometimes, I don’t even know who I am without it, and I know I’m not alone. If you continue to live your life for other people, you will inevitably live as the shell of what you could have been. You would have gained the validation you craved so much at the overwhelmingly crushing price of unfulfilled potential.