Monogamous relationships are one of the most common among our generation, but when it comes to casual dating, that is where a lot of us get stuck. Dating apps are partly to blame, you’ll find yourself swiping and swiping and possibly meeting with all kinds of different people. Casual dating can involve hooking up, but it doesn’t have to. It can also be just two parties being romantically involved with one another without the exclusivity of a relationship. These types of “relationships” are becoming more and more common and it’s safe to say there is a split divide of people who are okay with it and people who think it is absolutely ridiculous. But who is to say what the right and wrong way is to meet people? Love and relationships are not the same for everyone, which means if a friends with benefits situation works for someone, it probably won’t work for someone else – and that is okay! However, those who choose to participate in hookup culture/casual dating should not feel embarrassed or guilty. It’s the typical relationship norms that can make one start to feel guilty. You get a few dates in with someone and depending on the type of person you are, you may start to overthink: Should I tell them I’m talking to other people? Are they talking to other people? What if I don’t want to see other people? Am I moving too fast? What are their intentions? What are my intentions? Casual dating can seem fun and easy until you’re there realizing you’re more confused than you’ve ever been! If you’re panicking, take a deep breath and know that situations vary from person to person.
Stay Clear-Sighted
I am guilty of this as are many people. Not everyone is “the one.” They held the door open for you? As they should! They complimented you? Okay. Don’t romanticize the beginning of your first interactions with this person when you’ve just met them. Setting your expectations too high puts you at risk for getting hurt. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about casual dating and what it is you are trying to get out of it. You want a relationship? That’s okay! You just want to hookup? That is also okay! Are you okay with them seeing other people? If not, rethink your casual dating strategy. Do you find yourself obsessing over every person you go on dates with? Maybe take a step back and figure out what is causing that. Setting your own boundaries and controlling your own emotions is crucial to navigating the casual dating scene.
Be in the Right Headspace
You may think that since it’s casual dating you won’t need to be as emotionally present because it’s not like you’re in an actual relationship, right? Casual dating actually involves a lot more emotional maturity than one may think and demands a lot from you. You can’t be afraid of having honest conversations with whoever it is you are seeing about what you want from them and what it is you both are doing. Not being in the right headspace can lead to you getting hurt. Make sure you get your emotions in order about how you feel about the people you are seeing and whether you want to continue dating. There will definitely be people you won’t want to continue seeing and you need to be emotionally strong enough to cut things off sometimes too!
Sex Is Whatever You Want It To Be – Just Communicate!
There is this social construct of what sex is and what it should mean to everyone. To some, sex can be a very intimate act that you can’t do with just anybody. For others, it’s just something they enjoy doing with someone they find attractive. Whatever it means to you, don’t feel bad and/or shame others for what it means to them. At the end of the day, if you’re up front with your person(s) about what you see in the relationship and set strong boundaries, you’ll be fine. Remember, casual dating does not need to involve sexual acts.
It’s true, casual dating is not for everyone. If you try it and realize you don’t like it, that is totally okay! Love and relationships are not linear, and everyone has their own preferences. Set your boundaries, be honest with yourself and of course, have fun!